Pump and Dump

Ugh! Those three words have been my enemy for the past two days.  They make me sad, make me angry, make me tired and, most of all, make me miss my boy!

Who wouldn't miss this adorable boy?

Without going into too many details, my body has been at war for the past 7 weeks with an infection that just won't take the hint and leave town!  It's been pretty miserable to say the least, but I think this final round of meds just might do the trick!  I tried a mild round of meds because I didn't want to stop breast feeding Evan and I didn't want him to be affected (upset stomach or worse) by the meds I was taking.  The mild meds worked for a few days and then the infection returned.  I tried the mild meds again thinking that if I did a few things differently, it might work.  I know....silly me!

The third time the infection came on, I haul Evan and myself to the doctor determined to rid myself of this thing as fast as possible, no matter what.  Well, I was not emotionally prepared for what the doctor suggested.  Strong meds, three different types of medication, and no breast feeding for 2 of the 7 days. 

What?? No breastfeeding for 2 full days!?!?  Not cool!  I asked the doctor what I was supposed to do.  The answer, straight from his mouth, "Pump and Dump."  YUCK!!  He gave me very specific instructions on how to take these pills and cause as minimal upset stomach for my baby as possible.  He calls it a slammer mix.  I take 5 antibiotic pills at one time and then 3 days later the same thing.  I have to pump and dump for a day and I can nurse the 2 days in between.  Rinse and repeat ;)  On top of that, I have to take an anti-fungal prophylactically (yes, I know big words) to prevent a ductal yeast infection because I'm a nursing mom.  

So, I started the meds on Friday morning.  First and foremost, I fed my sweet baby boy.  I almost cried, but thought, "It's only one day." I took 6 pills (the nastiest tasting things in the universe).  For the rest of the day, I pumped and dumped.  Again, I almost cried!  A total of 13 ounces of milk down the drain.  Very sad day for mama.  Then last night as I put my son to sleep, I prayed over his belly.  Lord, please protect my son's belly from all ill effects of the medicine I am taking.  Help his system to be strong and fight off the meds that may flow from my body to his during this 7 day period.  Help his not suffer because of mama's infection.  Be with him if he does have a belly ache.  Help him to sleep well if he does not feel healthy.  And, Lord, please oh please make this round of meds work and mama not have an infection anymore.  Amen.

I went to sleep last night hopeful and ready to feed my son again.  This morning could not come soon enough.  Evan slept so well last night.  From 9 - 4 and then from 4:30 to 8!  I slept well too and was anxious to feed him at his 4 o'clock wake up time. 

He was a little grumpy when he awoke at 8 and I just prayed again that he would not suffer from my medication.  He quickly ate his breakfast and was his normal smiley self.  He's eaten five times so far today and has slept more than normal.  We've had a pretty busy Saturday, so I'm not sure if his sleeping is due to information overload or an unhappy belly.  Either way, I'm happy that he is sleeping and not showing many signs of ill effect...except one very strong reaction...it's smelly and green and not his normal b.m.  But at least it doesn't seem to be hurting him.  Praise the Lord!

5 more days of this and it can't come soon enough!  I'll pump and dump again on Monday (that'll be easier because I work half the day and would pump anyway).  Please pray for us if you think about it.  For Evan's tiny body to not be affected by the meds I have to take.  For me to be healed of this awful infection.  For all of us to be healthy and back to normal as soon as possible! 

Evan 3 months

Look at that smile!

I know that all of these photos are very similar but I couldn't help adding all of them.  Evan is so very expressive and I love capturing every single moment!


Evan is 3 months old today.  WHAT?!?!? :)

He's becoming such a fun little boy.  He loves a LOT of attention.  He loves to be active.  Well, let me rephrase.  He loves to be kept active by those who take care of him!  He loves to bounce and stand and be taken for walks in his moby.  He loves to be talked to and he loves funny faces and noises.  He's started to talk a lot and absolutely interacting with others.  Of course, he loves his mama's voice the best.  Sorry I had to say it :)  He's starting to like tummy time and playing with toys, especially the ones with lights.  He's loving his Auntie Janelle (who is also his nanny).

He doesn't like to be left alone.  He doesn't like his immunization shots (who does?). 

He's learning to be a social baby.  This Saturday was Rolando's birthday party and he was held by at least 10 different people while awake and didn't seemed bothered by it at all.  I love that he isn't bothered by other people.  I hope this is a trait that stays with him. 

Rolando is doing a fantastic job of speaking Spanish to Evan.  I really hope that when Evan starts to speak (which could be later than normal because of the bilingual household) he'll have a strong foundation in both Spanish and English.

He's growing like a weed!! I'm pretty sure he's more than 24 inches now.  His face looks a little thinner and that means he's gained some length.  He eats all. the. time!  Today, for example, after I got home I ate at 4 am, 7:30 am, 9:30 am (took a fantastic nap), 1:30 pm, 3:30 pm, 6:15 pm and 7:45 pm.  He'll go to sleep now and will probably wake up around 11:30 for his midnight snack.  When I put it in words like that, it doesn't seem so bad...perfectly normal for a little guy to eat 8 times a day.  I guess it just seems like a lot when you're the one being needed :)  And I don't mind at all.

Evan,

I love being your mama.  You make it pretty easy these days.  I enjoy every second I get to spend with you.  Lately, there have been big chunks of time that you aren't in my arms.  I was sad about this at first (and I'll always miss you) but what I'm learning is that I love seeing other people love on you too.  It's okay for others to hold ya and love on ya and kiss on ya!  You enjoy it too.  Your smiles are addicting and so good for my soul.  Your little legs kicking away at things that make you happy let me know that I'm doing a good job of entertaining you.  I can tell by the look in your eye that you are making connections with things that make you happy.  You know that the changing table is fun with the mobile.  You know that, when mama sits down on the couch, you get to see your favorite white and black screen behind it.  You are so smart!!  I love the snuggle times and the active times.  You are the best, cutest, most lovely baby there is.

Love,
mama

My birth story (part 2)

I left off on Saturday afternoon (with only about 4 hours of sleep in a 38 hour period) at home, saddened by the news that I wasn't progressing.  

Here's the finale (again, discontinue reading if you aren't comfortable with TMI issues): 


I made both my sisters go for long walks with me all afternoon.  I wanted so desperately to start labor again.  I was willing to do anything.  I even went so far as taking a dose of castor oil.  Mixed with orange juice...not so bad (gag reflex and all).  I can't remember exactly when I started feeling contractions again, but by 8:30, my sister was timing them and telling me my progress every 30 to 40 minutes.  I was encouraged every time I heard the timing because they were getting longer, stronger and closer together!! :) 


I had my sister call my friend to invite her over during my laboring at home.  I was so thankful when she and her husband showed up.  My friend sat with me and my sister in my bedroom and her husband sat with my husband and my other sister in the living room (later I found out that they were praying for me the whole time; what an amazing group of friends I have!).  The only thing that felt good to me was lying on my right side during every contraction and moaning/humming through each one.  My wonderful sister made a playlist of soothing songs and I would focus on the music through each contraction.  It helped distract me and strangely kept me focused on the task at hand.  By 10:30, I was having pretty intense contractions about every 4 minutes and decided I wanted to sit in the tub with relaxing bubble bath scents to help me through the contractions.  It felt so nice.  I laid in the tub for about an hour and a half and slipped in and out of sleep while my sister rubbed my arm and diligently kept time of the contractions.  I was so tired (remember I'd only slept 4 hours in what was now a 48 hour time period).  I think I actually slept through some contractions even though they were becoming so intense.  At one point, I awoke to a contraction and muttered "Such a rude awakening!" :)  Janelle just kept draining some water and refilling it with hot water and adding more bubbles.  


At midnight, Janelle tried to convince me that it was time to go to the hospital.  My contractions were lasting about 45 to 60 seconds and were coming about ever 3 1/2 minutes.  I remembered the nurse telling me every 3 minutes.  I was going to do my homework completely!!  I told Janelle I wanted 30 more minutes at home and got out of the tub to lay down on my bed again.  We have a queen size bed and I was laying at the farthest right side possible.  I remember my friend had brought frozen strawberries and all of a sudden those sounded so good.  I sucked on those for the next 15 minutes and finally made up my mind that it was time to go to the hospital.  Janelle (or was it Jessica, I can't remember) went out of the bedroom to tell everyone to start packing up.  All of a sudden my contractions got extremely intense and I felt this balloon come out of me.  I screamed "Something's happening!"  I seriously thought it was the head coming out.  Within a second the balloon exploded (literally) and water gushed out of me all the way across my bed and onto the floor.  What I thought was the head was my bag of water breaking.  Now, it's ON!!  Within another second I say "My water just broke! LET'S GO!"  I changed my clothes really quickly; I was SOAKED!  My sister was soaked too, but she was such a sport, she didn't mind.  (oh, it must have been Jessica, because Janelle was with me in the bed...anyway, moving on).  I get out to the car (after another contraction comes and goes), Janelle drives us to the hospital.  I walk into the E.R. and the nurse takes one look at me and says, "Oh my! Maternity center, get a wheel chair, lets go!" I can't imagine what I must have looked like to get that response! :)  I get up to my delivery room at 12:40.  The nurse tells me to pee in a cup.  I think to myself "She has GOT to be kidding!"  But I do it anyway, the nurse knows best, right?  They get me in a gown and check me.  Fully dilated and station 2.  The baby's head is crowning!!  She jokes with me about something, but right then the biggest and strongest contraction hits.  I grab Janelle's hand and say something like "This hurts, I can't do it.  I don't like it.  I have to push!"  Janelle (the WONDERFUL coach that she is) calms me down and the contraction passes.  (Later on, Janelle told me that one of the nurses response to me saying I need to push was "So, push already!"  HAHA!  If only I had actually heard those words.).  At this point, I know the baby is going to come any second.  I've been in labor for just over 4 hours and the contractions are so strong, the urge to push so intense, I'm on the roller coaster ride of my life and am losing a little bit of control.  The doctor on call (not my regular ob-gyn) hasn't made it into the room yet.  My mom hasn't made it yet.  I'm freaking out that this is all going to happen and it's just going to be me, Janelle and Rolando.  I look at the nurse and say, "I feel so much pressure.  I need to push.  Where's my mom?"  


It's 1:05 and my mom arrives.  The doctor follows within seconds.  I'm so emotional and scared.  I hear the doctor tell me to open my legs, grab my knees and bare down.  I hear him say that but in the same second, when the contraction slams into my gut, I squeeze my legs, stop breathing and clench up...everything you're taught NOT to do in labor class.  I think my body was saying, "um...this is happening way too quickly!"  The contraction fades and I give the doctor this panicked look.  He looks right back at me and very calmly says, "Okay, on the next contraction, lets try something different.  I want you to grab your knees and pull them toward you.  Chin to chest and bare down."  His calming voice reaches some inner part of me and I do exactly as he says.  The sensation of being split in two down the middle is so intense, but I press on.  Ring of fire.  This hurts!  I look at my mom with fear in my eyes.  She looks back with an encouraging look.  I know I can do this!  The next contraction slams into me and I bare down just like the doctor tells me.  Everyone is encouraging me.  The nurses, my mom, my sister holding my hand, my husband stroking my hair.  Everyone believes in me.  I push through the ring of fire and after what feels like an eternity, I feel the head push through and i know it's a matter of seconds before I get to see my son.  The rest of the body slips through and I hear the doctor say "It's wrapped around 3 times."  It takes me a few seconds to understand what he's talking about.  Thankfully, by the time I figure out what he just said, I hear the first beautiful cry of my son!  Yes, the cord was wrapped around Evan's neck 3 times but, by the grace of God, he's healthy, crying, and they are laying him on my chest. Evan was born at 1:11 a.m.


I'm so exhausted.  I lay my head back and close my eyes.  My mom has to say to me "Charissa, open your eyes and look at your son."  My son is on my chest.  It's amazing.  He's all gooey and beautiful and tiny and perfect.  "He's my son.  He's my son.  He's my son."  I keep saying this as if I'm trying to convince the world.  I can't believe he's here.  He's here and he's mine!  My mom asks us to share the name finally and I turn to Rolando.  Rolando says "Evan William."  His name is perfect.  He's my Evan.

My little Snow White dwarf :)

Evan - God is gracious
William - resolute protector

Labor took less than 4.5 hours.  I had to push two times and Evan was in my arms.  The following hours fly by.  He's weighed and measured.  5 lbs 13 oz.  19 1/4 inches long.  His head cir. is 12.75 inches.  He's swaddled and back in my arms.  I'm nursing my son for the first time and it feels so perfect.  He's a tiny little guy.  He's a bit jaundiced, but nothing to be too concerned about.  He's absolutely perfect!  I feel whole.  This is who I am.  I'm a mama.  I am exactly what God created me to be. 

Giving birth and becoming a mama has totally changed me. It has made me realize just how important life is and forced me to make some much needed changes in my life.  It has grown me into a better woman, a better wife, a better sister, a more 'whole' human.  God is so good and I can't believe the blessings that he has poured over my life.  I have the most wonderful husband and the most beautiful son.  I am so blessed.

My birth story (part 1)

Evan will be 2 months old tomorrow and I can't believe it!  You never understand how fast time can actually fly past you until you have a baby.  When reading all the mommy blogs I could absorb during pregnancy, I told myself I wouldn't say those words that all mamas say (I can't believe how fast you've grown), but seriously folks, it's inevitable.  Evan really is growing so fast.  In just 2 short weeks, he's become an entirely different baby.  It brings tears to my eyes just typing those words.  Wow, time really does fly by.

Speaking of flying by, my maternity leave is almost over and in a few weeks I'll be returning to work.    I had a few goals that I wanted to complete during my maternity leave. Don't worry I only had a few: Love Evan with all my heart, pump/store as much milk as possible (no quota, just do the best I can), and put into words my birth story.  One of my goals for maternity leave hasn't been met and so with this post, I check it off the list.

Giving birth is an overwhelming event.  It's overwhelming in the fact that it is beautiful, painful, empowering, and amazing.  It's a rite of passage.  It's a chance to show the world just how strong you are.  It's a chance to prove to yourself that you can conquer anything you put your mind to.  For nine months, a woman's body prepares for this journey into motherhood.  And then, after just a few short hours (comparatively) your body has accomplished it's goal.

Here's my story (discontinue reading if you get uncomfortable with TMI topics):

Evan William Jimenez was born on Sunday, June 26th.  I want to start my story on the Thursday before that.  I had my 39 week appointment with my doctor and asked if she could strip my membranes.  She was successful at doing so and I walked away from the appointment hoping that by the end of the weekend I would have my baby boy in my arms and no longer in my belly.  That afternoon, while at work, I starting having horrible back pain.  No amount of stretching, pelvic tilt exercises, Tylenol, or different sitting positions helped.  I was walking around the office more than I was sitting in my office chair doing work.  It was so bad that I finally went home early and laid down in my bed to rest.  I finally was able to sleep around 10:30 that night and I woke up Friday morning around 7:30.  It was glorious...until I tried to sit up in bed and was blinded with the same back pain, same spot, more intense.

I called my doctor as soon as the office opened.  I told her about my situation and she asked a lot of questions (any contractions? no, any bleeding? no, drinking enough water? yes, etc).  After answering all her questions, she advised me to go to the hospital and check myself in.  She wanted to have me monitored in case contractions where happening and I couldn't feel them.  I checked in around 10 am. and was monitored for about 2 hours.  They gave me more pain medicine and alternated ice/hot on my back.  I had one contraction after 2 hours, when the nurse came to discharge me.  She told me that my son had moved down enough to where he was probably sitting on my sciatic nerve.  My options were pretty limited.  I could go to a chiropractor and see if an adjustment would help.  Walking wouldn't help, it would probably just bring more pain.  She basically said, go home, alternate ice and heat, relax and pray your baby comes soon.  great!

I went home, in pain, not knowing what the next few days would bring.  My mind was going 100 mph.  Am I going to have to deal with this pain for another 3 weeks possibly?  I really wanted to work every day possible until the baby came; how was I going to endure?  Now I know why women take leave before the baby comes.  I can't do this!  I don't want to do this.  So this is the pain of pregnancy (yes it was pretty much for first real pain from being pregnant).  I hoped and prayed that this was the onset of labor and that I would have my son in my arms soon!  I called my sister and told her to come over, bring some movies and bring some spicy foods and green grapes (the grapes sent my aunt into labor years and years ago, so I decided to try those too).  Both of my sisters came down, we enjoyed our food and before we started watching the movies, I tuckered out and went to bed (around 11:30).

I was awakened at 12:30 am Saturday by cramping and gas pains, went to the restroom and laid back down to go to sleep.  Then the pains came again about 5 minutes later.  After about 30 minutes of this pattern it donned on me...this might actually be labor, but I didn't want to rush things so I grabbed my exercise ball and, while playing sudoku and bejewled on my phone, rolled back and forth on the ball.  I was trying not to pay attention to the time, but by 3:30 am, the contractions were happening every 3-4 minutes and, though they weren't as painful as I thought they would/should be, were becoming more intense.  I finally woke Rolando up and told him that I thought we should go to the hospital.  My sisters were sleeping in the living room, so I woke them up too and off we went.  I was elated.  It was time and soon enough I would be gazing in my son's eyes and falling head over heals in love!

While Rolando drove us to the hospital, Janelle called mom and told her it was time.  I was taken up to the room and hooked up to the monitors.  I saw the contractions coming and going and was feeling every emotion on the spectrum.

Nervous...will I be able to do this?  what is it really going to be like?
Anxious...the nurse checked me and I was only 2 cm dilated and 50-60% effaced, not a huge change from my 39 week appointment.  She advised me to use the hot tub and told me that if contractions continued it was probably real labor, but I could see in her eyes that she had her doubts.
Elated...the contractions continued while in the hot tub.  My mind was made up, this was it and I was going to meet my son.
Frustrated...the nurse came in and checked me again.  No progress, in fact, she said I was more like 1 cm dilated.  WHAT?!?!?  is that possible?  you can go backward?  NO WAY!
Angry/upset...after 3 hours of napping at the hospital (with the help of ambien and morphine) the nurses decide to send me home.  There would be no baby this afternoon.

I was so sad, upset and just plain frustrated.  My heart was broken.  I wanted to cry a river.  I was told to rest, relax, walk if possible, and when contractions started again, to wait until they were 3 minutes apart, lasting at least a minute, and painful/intense.  I was given homework.  I can do that!  Focus on the homework and wait.

Fortunately I didn't have to wait too long!

To Be Continued...

I'm back

HI! :)

I took a little more than a months break, but now I'm back.  I am not going to guarantee a daily entry; I don't think I did the daily entries before, so why would I start now.  However, I am going to try for at least two posts* a week. 

Let's see what has happened in the last month...  :)

Evan William Jimenez

I have a son! :)  Evan arrived at 1:11 am on June 26, 2011.  He weighed 5 lbs 13 oz and was 19 1/4  inches long.  He was a tiny little guy to everyone's surprise.  I had been measuring right on target, but my doctor thinks I was carrying a lot of extra fluid which tricked us all.  I'll be writing my birth story and editing it for a while.  You can be on the lookout for it sometime next month. 

Evan is one month old.  I can't believe this whole month has come and gone.  My maternity leave is only 10 weeks and I'm already thinking it's not going to be enough time!  At the same time, I've been looking for things to do to keep my busy.  I'm not a good stay at home person.  I've found a couple of outlets and I think it's a good balance of making sure Evan gets good quality sleep and making sure mama gets good quality social time!

Rolando and I are doing well at transitioning to parenthood.  It suits us well! :)  Rolando is a GEM when it comes to loving on his son.  He takes Evan for a walk most mornings so that mama can get some extra sleep (I love that part of my sleep time!)  He dances and sings around the house with Evan which is the sweetest sight ever. :)  I'm so thankful for him.  It's funny how many people said that they fell more in love with their husband after seeing him with their child.  I believed them, but it didn't seem really possible.  How can you love more?  Oh my goodness, now I know what they are talking about.  To see your husband loving on your son (loving your son is for another post entirely) is the most amazing feeling ever!

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful journey ahead of me.  My son is beautiful.  My husband is amazing.  And I survived the most difficult event of my life.

Life is good!


*Posts may include, but are not limited to, pictures of Evan, articles I want to read but don't have the time, favorite websites or blogs, my rantings, my sleep deprived emotions wrapped up in a 30 second entry because...Oops! the baby's crying :/, etc!!  haha

the exercise dilemma :)

I've been having a hard time at the gym on Mondays and Wednesdays.  Those are the days that I normally go to my yoga-lates class and try as hard as possible to be gracefully bendy in all the ways that my pregnant belly refuses to do.  It's gotten harder and harder, but I've struggled through it and really, it seems that I've been doing okay and I feel the benefit from it.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I attend swim aerobic classes and truly enjoy those classes.  During the class, I feel light and free.  After class, my body has a different, very pressure free feel to it.  I do believe I'm going to keep attending those classes until I deliver.  But that always brings in the burning question: What if my water breaks while I'm in the pool?  Will I know it?

Now that I'm in my 9th month of pregnancy, I'm having thoughts that maybe I shouldn't be doing things that could pull muscles (especially in my abs....can you imagine trying to push a baby out with pulled muscles in your abs!?!?!)  I'm thinking about cutting yoga-lates out of my routine because I just don't want to run the risk.  And, now that the weather is getting nicer (ish) and it's staying lighter, longer, I think it will be a good thing to go on walks (at lease 30 minutes long).  I'm also thinking that I should bring my exercise ball home from the office and use that as much as possible during the evening when I'm watching TV and trying to relax.  Leaning on that will help promote Sweet Pea's head to be in the correct position.

All of these things have been on my mind as my body prepares for the most strenuous task it's ever conquered...and it WILL be conquered! :)  I've been focusing on keeping positive about the end task and reminding myself that God made me to do this.  But above that, I've been reminding myself that I can do so many things to help the process along and strengthen myself for this task.  I need to keep focused on that fact and remind myself daily that the harder I work now, the easier (hopefully) it will be when the day comes that I will finally get to hold my son.

--What kinds of things did you do during pregnancy to help your body prepare for labor?

31 weeks and I'm...

...just starting to firm up (my belly that is).
...just starting to feel back pain and hip pain, and I do NOT like them.
...in awe of what God can create.  I have a whole person inside of me!!
...just starting to feel the nesting instinct.  I cleaned the kitchen and bedroom, organized baby items, and dusted all in one evening.
...marveling at the wonder that is inside of me.
...just starting to feel full way sooner than I would like.  I enjoy eating way too much!!
...just starting to have a TON of energy.  I have to force myself to bed at a descent hour.
...getting anxious for the big day.
...just starting to say "Is it my turn yet?"  I can't wait for Sweet Pea to arrive!
...just starting to think "Are we seriously doing this?" ;)
...just starting to wonder what it will be like to say "This is my son."
...just beginning to think I might not be able to handle loving this little one so much.
...wondering if the name we picked out is really the name, or if should be something different. (names are so hard to figure out!)
...just now wondering what it's actually going to be like to be a mom.
...wondering what breast feeding is going to feel like.
...just now starting to think about the actual work that goes into labor.  It doesn't scare me one bit, so I haven't thought about it much.
...SO EXCITED!!!!

Fear is not from God

Friday I had my 20 week ultrasound.  I got to see the baby for an hour and 15 minutes. It was pure bliss. That’s the good news.
 
I got a call this morning from the radiologists’ office saying that I need to come back in on Wednesday for more ultrasound pictures. The office assistant didn’t say what the reason was and told me that most of the time it’s just because they didn’t get a clear picture and need to try for more clear pictures. For about 2 hours I cried and prayed to the Father that everything was okay. I was so anxious and scared that something was wrong with my sweet pea! I talked to my mom and she told me to call the radiologist himself to figure out the reasoning behind the second appointment. I was too anxious and needed reassurance that everything was okay or that I needed to call me doctor to find out more information.

When I talked to the radiologist, he said that so far everything looks fine, but they didn’t have clear pictures of the kidneys and some of the other organs so they just needed to get more clear pictures. He tried to assure me that there is probably no reason to worry, that sweet pea was in a weird position and it was just hard to get good pictures.

My heart is just a little heavier right now then it was on Friday and I am calling out to my loved ones to pray. Pray for peace in my heart and that the devil will not use fear to trap me in the lies that God is not in control. Pray for sweet pea’s health and that his little body is protected by the Almighty Father.

I know He knows exactly what is going on. I know He has already prepared me to handle anything that life deals me. I need to keep reminding myself of this.