Oh my goodness, my boy is experiencing so many new things!!! In the past 3-4 weeks, my baby boy has grown from a 'baby' to a 'boy' AHH! I'm having a hard dealing with how suddenly these changes have happened.
Big Boy Bath:
Yeah, I'm crawling!
I'm such a happy boy!
Other accomplishments: He cut his first tooth! Today I ran home for a quick second and he was so excited to see me that he pulled himself up on the couch!!! And the biggest announcmenet:
He's 8 months old!!! I'm going to be taking his monthly pictures today, so look for a photo dump coming your way soon :)
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
resolution re-cap
Can you believe it's been two months. I was thinking about doing an every two months re-cap to keep myself on track with my resolutions. I like the idea of it, but I don't like the very real possibility that I could/would fail at some of them. Then I got to thinking. It'll be good to do the re-cap and post about my successes and failures to keep me real! So here goes :)
My resolutions are posted here.
My resolutions are posted here.
- I'm slowly but surely reaching this goal. This weekend I was so incredibly sick. I feel like I probably lost 2 pounds. It's not the type of diet I had in mind, but I'll take the loss no matter how it comes :)
- I have been diligent about getting to the gym as much as possible. The reality is, sometimes Evan is sick, sometimes I am sick, and sometimes even with all things in life going well, it's just impossible to get to the stinkin' gym! So, I've not gotten to the gym 3 times a week, but I've gone as much as possible.
- YES! I've had absolutely no soda since December 31st.
- Still following through on reading the Bible. I am finally out of Exodus. I feel like I have the measurements of the Tabernacle memorized! :)
- Success! Evan and I have enjoyed Skyping with GiGi and Grandpa.
- Practice makes perfect...haha. This resolution has made me keenly aware of how easy it is to speed. I am still in the practice portion of this resolution. I have become much better about not driving more than 5 miles over the speed limit, but sometimes without even knowing it, I'm flying down the road. I do drop back down when I become aware of it though.
- We are still working on this. The day just gets away from me most of the time. I have a pile of books on our bedside table now so that I can just grab one at bed time and read it to him. He loves books and now that he is crawling, I hope he crawls over to the books more often!
- I have been ROCKIN' this resolution. I have been wearing my hair down at least 2 times a week if not more. There was a period of 18 days that I wore my hair down! Boo-yah! :)
- Haven't vacationed to Yosemite yet, so haven't had the opportunity. This one will have to be in August's re-cap.
- Why is it easier to load the dishwasher than wash my face? I think because the dishes scream at me whereas I can very easily ignore my face. I've been doing better at washing my face every night, but not perfect. I'm in the practice portion of this one too, I guess.
- I've had a couple of great girlfriend dates, but not as many as I had hoped. What does it look like to succeed in this resolution...I'm going to have to figure it out.
- I feel like I am succeeding in this area. Ask my husband. :)
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
my baby boy - cuz really what else is there :)
Dear Evan,
I love you more and more every day. You are getting to be such a little boy. You are growing up way too quickly, of course. It's so fun to watch you learn new things. You are so smart and innovative. You don't know how to crawl quite yet, but you do know how to reach for things that are a bit too far away. You know how to scoot backward. So instead of getting closer, you get farther away, and that just makes you mad! You get frustrated when you can't get that item, but you do some pretty funny things in your frustration. Do you even know how cute and adorable you are in your anger? :) You are starting to babble more. You love to stand propped against our ottoman. It's so shaky, and you seem so close to falling, but you are so good at catching your balance. I know it's only a matter of time before you take your first wabbly steps. You are looking to daddy and I for approval and recognition more often. You love being praised. You are figuring out how to put food in your mouth...which leads to more frustration.
When it comes to food, you are the most stubborn eater. You don't pig out like most babies. You are very tempermental when it comes to eating. You are keenly aware when daddy and I have a plate of food and let us know immediately that you would like to partake of the yumminess we have brought into the room and your environment. You'll take a bottle pretty well, but you never finish one. If I make a 4 ounce bottle, you'll take 3. If I make a 6 ounce, you'll take 5. Sometimes, I think if I make an odd number of ounces, you'll finish it. Isn't that so silly?! You love all sorts of food; black beans, avocado, chicken, rice puffs, tomatoes, eggs, prunes, bananas, sweet potatoes, mixed veggies, bread. The list goes on and on, but I can't think of any more right now. You love all this food, but you won't eat it if it comes from that not-so-magical plastic container. If the food comes from mama and daddy's plate, you love it. Why is this? We probably did something wrong or let you know about the wonders of a dinner plate too soon. That's ok, though. You are growing like a weed. You are healthy, and you are VERY happy. That makes me feel assured that we are doing the right things, even if we've done things a bit different the cultural norms.
Speaking of cultural norms, I love breaking them every night when I crawl into my bed, right next to your warm small body. I love sleeping with you beside me. I love having you reach out and hold my arm or hand in the middle of the night. You sleep so well in between daddy and me. And you keep daddy and I so warm that we don't have to have the heater on. You don't even know how financially savvy you are :) If only you would learn to sleep all the way through the night without needing a bottle. I wish we had a magic answer for that, but I know it will come in time.
I love walking through this journey with you. You make me look so good with all you are learning to do. The fact that you are getting to be such an easy baby is so helpful. I can't wait for you to start crawling so that you can be a little more independent. I know that the learning experience takes a while, but I also know that you will be such a happier baby (less frustrated) when you can get to that toy that keeps eluding you. I can't wait to kick a ball down the hallway and have you chase it. I can't wait for you to come crawling around the corner into the bathroom when all I want is one second of solitude to do my business.
And yet, I would be happy if you stayed so beautifully dependent on me just a little while longer. I love that you need me so often. I love that you still rely on my to hold your bottle. I love that you spend so much time in my arms. I know that I will miss the warmth of your body so close to mine. Don't let that stop you from growing though. Mama will adjust, I promise.
I love you that much.
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| learning to stand - 6 mo |
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| sweet smile - 7 mo |
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| learning to love hats :) - 7 mo |
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| Do you see what I see? One cute baby! I stinkin' love this little boy! |
I love you more and more every day. You are getting to be such a little boy. You are growing up way too quickly, of course. It's so fun to watch you learn new things. You are so smart and innovative. You don't know how to crawl quite yet, but you do know how to reach for things that are a bit too far away. You know how to scoot backward. So instead of getting closer, you get farther away, and that just makes you mad! You get frustrated when you can't get that item, but you do some pretty funny things in your frustration. Do you even know how cute and adorable you are in your anger? :) You are starting to babble more. You love to stand propped against our ottoman. It's so shaky, and you seem so close to falling, but you are so good at catching your balance. I know it's only a matter of time before you take your first wabbly steps. You are looking to daddy and I for approval and recognition more often. You love being praised. You are figuring out how to put food in your mouth...which leads to more frustration.
When it comes to food, you are the most stubborn eater. You don't pig out like most babies. You are very tempermental when it comes to eating. You are keenly aware when daddy and I have a plate of food and let us know immediately that you would like to partake of the yumminess we have brought into the room and your environment. You'll take a bottle pretty well, but you never finish one. If I make a 4 ounce bottle, you'll take 3. If I make a 6 ounce, you'll take 5. Sometimes, I think if I make an odd number of ounces, you'll finish it. Isn't that so silly?! You love all sorts of food; black beans, avocado, chicken, rice puffs, tomatoes, eggs, prunes, bananas, sweet potatoes, mixed veggies, bread. The list goes on and on, but I can't think of any more right now. You love all this food, but you won't eat it if it comes from that not-so-magical plastic container. If the food comes from mama and daddy's plate, you love it. Why is this? We probably did something wrong or let you know about the wonders of a dinner plate too soon. That's ok, though. You are growing like a weed. You are healthy, and you are VERY happy. That makes me feel assured that we are doing the right things, even if we've done things a bit different the cultural norms.
Speaking of cultural norms, I love breaking them every night when I crawl into my bed, right next to your warm small body. I love sleeping with you beside me. I love having you reach out and hold my arm or hand in the middle of the night. You sleep so well in between daddy and me. And you keep daddy and I so warm that we don't have to have the heater on. You don't even know how financially savvy you are :) If only you would learn to sleep all the way through the night without needing a bottle. I wish we had a magic answer for that, but I know it will come in time.
I love walking through this journey with you. You make me look so good with all you are learning to do. The fact that you are getting to be such an easy baby is so helpful. I can't wait for you to start crawling so that you can be a little more independent. I know that the learning experience takes a while, but I also know that you will be such a happier baby (less frustrated) when you can get to that toy that keeps eluding you. I can't wait to kick a ball down the hallway and have you chase it. I can't wait for you to come crawling around the corner into the bathroom when all I want is one second of solitude to do my business.
And yet, I would be happy if you stayed so beautifully dependent on me just a little while longer. I love that you need me so often. I love that you still rely on my to hold your bottle. I love that you spend so much time in my arms. I know that I will miss the warmth of your body so close to mine. Don't let that stop you from growing though. Mama will adjust, I promise.
I love you that much.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Catch Up Part 2
December 23 - December 24
My grandparents and brother and sister in law flew in for Christmas. They haven't seen Evan since he was about 7 weeks old. It's been fun sharing all the new things Evan can do. He has learned to sit up all by himself. He can play with his toys, reach for them, throw them, chew on them. He makes all sorts of funny noises. He smiles and laughs and squeals! He loves touching everybody's face. He puts his hands on each side of your face and will pat and stroke your cheeks. It is so precious and sweet. More than anything, he just goes and goes and goes and goes...Energizer Bunny style. Oh my! Every one is so amazed at how much energy he has.
I did errands on Friday and then went up to mom and dad's house and basically moved in. I brought up enough stuff for Evan and I to stay until Monday. I value time with family and know how important it is to spend time with them and let them love on you in a way that only family can. It was nice to spend so much quality time with them. I know that Evan will not remember that time, but it was fun to see him grow comfortable with his extended family and laugh at their silly faces and smile when they tickle him.
Christmas Eve, my quartet came over and did a 45 min gig for my family. It was so fun! My family knows all of the songs and most of our shtick, but they still laugh and interact with us. We had a TON of food and sweets for all to enjoy afterward. There were a ton of stories being told and even more laughing. It was such a treat. I love to have so many people in a house that you can't focus on just one conversation. I love the chaos of trying to keep glasses full and adding more food to the table and sharing a story with a friend and laughing at a fun memory. It always gives my heart the lift it needs. Did I mention I feel refreshed and energized by being with people? :) This was an almost perfect Christmas Eve (well...you can't expect perfection all the time).
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| Thursday, Dec 23..Evan couldn't wait to try out his hat!! |
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| Oops....how did that picture sneak in here?? :) |
I did errands on Friday and then went up to mom and dad's house and basically moved in. I brought up enough stuff for Evan and I to stay until Monday. I value time with family and know how important it is to spend time with them and let them love on you in a way that only family can. It was nice to spend so much quality time with them. I know that Evan will not remember that time, but it was fun to see him grow comfortable with his extended family and laugh at their silly faces and smile when they tickle him.  |
| So many people in one room! :) |
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| bath time is so much fun!! |
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| After bath time loves! |
Christmas Eve, my quartet came over and did a 45 min gig for my family. It was so fun! My family knows all of the songs and most of our shtick, but they still laugh and interact with us. We had a TON of food and sweets for all to enjoy afterward. There were a ton of stories being told and even more laughing. It was such a treat. I love to have so many people in a house that you can't focus on just one conversation. I love the chaos of trying to keep glasses full and adding more food to the table and sharing a story with a friend and laughing at a fun memory. It always gives my heart the lift it needs. Did I mention I feel refreshed and energized by being with people? :) This was an almost perfect Christmas Eve (well...you can't expect perfection all the time).
learning to rest
My 2 boys (yes boys) are napping away right now.
I have a cup of WONDERFUL coffee to the left of me.
My phone is next to me with the game Words for Friends on the screen...I cannot for the life of me find a good word to play against this person. I have 7 different games going and I love it. I win and I lose. The losing is hard because it's against my little brother. GRR! Anyway, not the point of this post.
I love that right now, I'm learning to rest. Usually today would be filled with errands and visits with friends and Evan not abiding by his normal schedule because mama wants to race around like a crazy woman.
Not today. Today I am learning to rest. I went to the gym three days in a row and my body is hurting a little. Today, I sit on the couch and listen to the steady breathing of my 2 boys. Oh, did I mention that they are snuggling right at my feet? Evan is fighting a cold that comes in waves (one good day, one bad day, etc). He gets to snuggle all he wants with mama and daddy when he doesn't feel good. So Rolando put him to sleep and then laid on the floor in front of the couch and fell asleep with Evan in the crook of his arm. So sweet!
Oh no! I sneezed and woke Evan up! BUMMER...well, I got to enjoy the rest and peace for a little while :) Learning to laugh at the joys (and not so joyous times) of being a mom is something I'll master next! HAHA!
I have a cup of WONDERFUL coffee to the left of me.
My phone is next to me with the game Words for Friends on the screen...I cannot for the life of me find a good word to play against this person. I have 7 different games going and I love it. I win and I lose. The losing is hard because it's against my little brother. GRR! Anyway, not the point of this post.
I love that right now, I'm learning to rest. Usually today would be filled with errands and visits with friends and Evan not abiding by his normal schedule because mama wants to race around like a crazy woman.
Not today. Today I am learning to rest. I went to the gym three days in a row and my body is hurting a little. Today, I sit on the couch and listen to the steady breathing of my 2 boys. Oh, did I mention that they are snuggling right at my feet? Evan is fighting a cold that comes in waves (one good day, one bad day, etc). He gets to snuggle all he wants with mama and daddy when he doesn't feel good. So Rolando put him to sleep and then laid on the floor in front of the couch and fell asleep with Evan in the crook of his arm. So sweet!
Oh no! I sneezed and woke Evan up! BUMMER...well, I got to enjoy the rest and peace for a little while :) Learning to laugh at the joys (and not so joyous times) of being a mom is something I'll master next! HAHA!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
12 in 12
New Years Resolutions...who sticks to them?...why even make them? I feel like the past couple of years, I've had some pretty good ones that I've actually made a good crack at and then there are ones that I've totally failed at! Even so, I still made some for this year. :)
- Lose all of my baby weight (7 more lbs to go!) and then possibly more.
- Exercise 3 times a week (obviously, this will help me achieve #1).
- No soda!
- Read through the Bible (for real this time).
- Skype with Grams and Grandpa (to show off my beautiful son) at least once a month if not twice.
- Do not exceed more than 5 miles over the speed limit...ever!
- Read 2 books to Evan every day, preferably at least one before bed time.
- Wear my hair down to work at least 2 times a week.
- Hike Half Dome in Yosemite (my family is going there for our summer vacation...but this one has some stipulations that might make it not so achievable...we'll see).
- Wash my face every night...I am SOOOO very bad at this.
- Connect with friends more frequently. I imagine this looking like coffee dates, walks in the neighborhood, girlfriends night out, phone calls, etc.
- Remember to love and respect my husband as he should be loved and respected...no matter what.
Catch Up Part 1
I was going to make this a catch up entry to cover the last month and a half...but that's more than impossible. So I'm going to space it out, give myself something to follow up on and hope that it works. :) I've also decided to put it in present tense. It is just easier that way.
December 1 - December 22nd:
What a crazy ride!
I have so many gigs this year. It's a blessing and a curse. A blessing because of the income it will bring to our family. A curse because it means I have to spend so much time away from Evan. Am I going to regret this later on? Am I already thinking I'm the worst mom EVER (yes!)?!?!? Is this going to be fun (yeah)? I told myself that it would be good for me to do this, to have an outlet for me...just me. This is good for me. As the days go on, as the gigs pass, I realize this really IS the best decision for me. This is exactly what I need and the exact perfect time. Everyone warns you that you lose yourself in becoming a mom. That is exactly what happened. Luckily for me, 5 months into becoming a new mom I had the awesome opportunity to be totally 100% myself! I couldn't have done it without support though. My husband helped, my sister helped, but the person who deserves the most credit....
Thank you so much, Mom, for all of the AMAZING help and support you gave me and my little family this month! I could not have done it without you! I couldn't have done so many gigs without the peace of mind you gave me that my baby was being loved and cherished and cared for as well as I would have done. You were there for some major tantrums. You were there for some major snuggle times. You were there to read him a book and play with a toy. You even saw a need for an exersaucer and went out to buy Evan his first Christmas present! And, I will probably get over my jealousy of the WAY-better-than-my-sons-toy-at-home exersaucer...soon! :) You fulfilled his every need (except the need for his mama, of course) in such a perfect way. You're the best mom ever...and the best Mamsie Evan could ask for. Thank you, again. Love ya.
So, other than work and Dicken's, my life is pretty much the same. I turned 30 on the 4th. Nothing weird or hard about it. Like my mom always says, "It's better than the alternative!" My 30's are going to be great. I have so many goals and ambitions for this decade. I've been thinking a LOT about them and will share more and I am able. I'm excited though. I don't know why everyone freaks out about turning 30. It was just like any other birthday for me :) There is a lot to be thankful for. I am blessed with a very handsome husband and a perfect son! I have a job, a roof over my head and food on my plate. I have a great support system...wonderful friends. Life is good!
December 1 - December 22nd:
What a crazy ride!
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| Dickens Carolers is in full swing!! |
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| My mom!! |
So, other than work and Dicken's, my life is pretty much the same. I turned 30 on the 4th. Nothing weird or hard about it. Like my mom always says, "It's better than the alternative!" My 30's are going to be great. I have so many goals and ambitions for this decade. I've been thinking a LOT about them and will share more and I am able. I'm excited though. I don't know why everyone freaks out about turning 30. It was just like any other birthday for me :) There is a lot to be thankful for. I am blessed with a very handsome husband and a perfect son! I have a job, a roof over my head and food on my plate. I have a great support system...wonderful friends. Life is good!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
presents for your children
I love The Mommyhood Memos. She hit the nail on the head with this blog post. This is something
i've been thinking about a lot these days. This year, we are giving Evan one present to play with and then we are giving him his stocking as a present (he doesn't need stocking stuffers and I thought it would be fun to give him the stocking we'll be using for years to come) :)
i've been thinking about a lot these days. This year, we are giving Evan one present to play with and then we are giving him his stocking as a present (he doesn't need stocking stuffers and I thought it would be fun to give him the stocking we'll be using for years to come) :)
Evan has already received one present from Mamsie
and will receive MANY others from relatives.
How have you handled presents for your children??
Monday, November 28, 2011
So thankful
I have so much to be thankful for.
My mom and I have a great relationship (this hasn't always been the case...my fault!) She and I can talk about everything and she always has great advice for me. I really couldn't have a better mom! Love you mom!
I am so thankful for my family. My husband is a spice in the cabinet, he brings laughter into my house every day. The way he plays with my son is crazy funny. He takes care of me when I'm sick (today I woke up with 102 fever).
My job and sick time. As I mentioned before, I woke up sick today. I feel really blessed to have a job that, even though I just came off of 3 months maternity leave, I have sick time left over and am able to stay at home.
My sister, Janelle. She's the best there is! She's my son's nanny, she came over today even though I stayed home. She took care of Evan and I slept. Probably why I feel a bit better already.
A God that blesses us beyond what we deserve. I have so many blessings in my life. I have friends and family that love me. I have a roof over my head and food in my fridge. We may be really tight with money, but we always have a positive balance at the end of the month...maybe just by pennies, but at least it's positive.
There's just a few things that I'm thankful for. Off to bed for this sicky.
My mom and I have a great relationship (this hasn't always been the case...my fault!) She and I can talk about everything and she always has great advice for me. I really couldn't have a better mom! Love you mom!
I am so thankful for my family. My husband is a spice in the cabinet, he brings laughter into my house every day. The way he plays with my son is crazy funny. He takes care of me when I'm sick (today I woke up with 102 fever).
My job and sick time. As I mentioned before, I woke up sick today. I feel really blessed to have a job that, even though I just came off of 3 months maternity leave, I have sick time left over and am able to stay at home.
My sister, Janelle. She's the best there is! She's my son's nanny, she came over today even though I stayed home. She took care of Evan and I slept. Probably why I feel a bit better already.
A God that blesses us beyond what we deserve. I have so many blessings in my life. I have friends and family that love me. I have a roof over my head and food in my fridge. We may be really tight with money, but we always have a positive balance at the end of the month...maybe just by pennies, but at least it's positive.
There's just a few things that I'm thankful for. Off to bed for this sicky.
Friday, November 18, 2011
just. write. something.
i have no idea why all of a sudden i'm on a writing strike. do i have writers block? am i just too busy? am i prioritizing it out of my life? I don't know. For now...here are some pics to keep you entertained. :)
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| You were so tiny! |
One of my very best friends asked me to guest post on her blog. I couldn't, in good conscience, post on her blog when I've not posted on mine in over a month. We'll see if this starts me going again :)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
what is it that mom always says?
My mom didn't say this phrase often, but it's a well known phrase:
"The idiom that there is no use crying over spilled milk means that if we make a mistake and something gets broken, it is not helpful to wail in lament, and instead we should simply clean up the mess and get on with it.
This saying comes from the days when dairy animals were milked by hand into a pail. Milk does get spilled occasionally when the pail is tipped over, and then there simply is no getting it back into the pail. Like many other times in life, crying or complaining won't help at all, and it's better not to waste the time or energy and instead just get back to the task at hand"
As I discussed in a previous post, I've had to pump and dump due to some meds I was taking. I did this one day and started feeding Evan the next day just as the doctor ordered. Evan was unusually fussy the day I fed him so I decided to pump and dump the rest of the time I was on the meds. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make in order to keep my son happy (I did miss feeding him terribly, but daddy got a good number of feedings in and loved it!). I was lucky enough to have a supply built up so that feeding him my milk was possible. My sister/nanny was so good about pulling enough milk out during the day so that they would thaw by evening. Evan's tummy has stayed happy and that makes mama happy.
Wednesday I allowed myself to cry (just a little) over milk...my breast milk. On Wednesday night, I was making Evan a bottle and I accidentally knocked over the bottle with his freshly warmed milk. 5 ounces gone, wasted in seconds! I've been pumping/dumping about 13 ounces a day and then here's 5 whole ounces of good, fattening, calorie-filled, med-free milk and I just dumped it all over the counter. I cried and then I smiled because my very next thought was "Well, at least I aimed into the sink and not all over the kitchen floor."
The moral of this story, if you have to clean up milk with one hand while holding a crying baby in the other, the most you can hope for is not having to get on your hands and knees to clean it. :)
Don't cry over spilled milk!
Have you ever thought what does it mean exactly? There's always a moral, right? Well, lucky us! We have the internet...from this source:
"The idiom that there is no use crying over spilled milk means that if we make a mistake and something gets broken, it is not helpful to wail in lament, and instead we should simply clean up the mess and get on with it.
This saying comes from the days when dairy animals were milked by hand into a pail. Milk does get spilled occasionally when the pail is tipped over, and then there simply is no getting it back into the pail. Like many other times in life, crying or complaining won't help at all, and it's better not to waste the time or energy and instead just get back to the task at hand"
As I discussed in a previous post, I've had to pump and dump due to some meds I was taking. I did this one day and started feeding Evan the next day just as the doctor ordered. Evan was unusually fussy the day I fed him so I decided to pump and dump the rest of the time I was on the meds. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make in order to keep my son happy (I did miss feeding him terribly, but daddy got a good number of feedings in and loved it!). I was lucky enough to have a supply built up so that feeding him my milk was possible. My sister/nanny was so good about pulling enough milk out during the day so that they would thaw by evening. Evan's tummy has stayed happy and that makes mama happy.
Wednesday I allowed myself to cry (just a little) over milk...my breast milk. On Wednesday night, I was making Evan a bottle and I accidentally knocked over the bottle with his freshly warmed milk. 5 ounces gone, wasted in seconds! I've been pumping/dumping about 13 ounces a day and then here's 5 whole ounces of good, fattening, calorie-filled, med-free milk and I just dumped it all over the counter. I cried and then I smiled because my very next thought was "Well, at least I aimed into the sink and not all over the kitchen floor."
The moral of this story, if you have to clean up milk with one hand while holding a crying baby in the other, the most you can hope for is not having to get on your hands and knees to clean it. :)
Friday, October 7, 2011
We'll make it...
Well, I've officially made it through my first 4 weeks back to work. And guess what! I survived and Evan survived and, most importantly, my nanny survived! She's the most important because if she didn't survive I wouldn't be able to work and if I couldn't work, we wouldn't be able to pay the bills and without that we'd be homeless and...well...you see where this is going. Basically, she's now the foundation of our family :) haha!
Here are a few things I've learned along the way:
1. Wash your bottles more often - in fact, maybe you need to buy more bottles
2. Make a video of your baby being fussy - watch it while you are pumping. It'll help your milk let down faster :)
3. Having a nanny is amazing, a must-have! She'll take such good care of your little one. Take care of her and she'll make your work life a breeze. She'll text you pictures of your sweet one. She'll bring your baby to work to deliver things that you forgot.
4. Steam bags are an amazing help. They can sterilize your pump supplies easily after you rinse out the milk. It makes pumping at work so much easier!
5. Communicate with your department and supervisor. I know, it's weird to have such a shift in your work identity, but you are a working mom now and pumping is a normal part of life. It probably won't weird the coworkers out as much as you think. Also, let them all know the struggles you are having. They will be amazingly supportive and helpful...and understanding.
6. Don't have high expectations of what you can accomplish. Go in slow and build up from there. Be easy on yourself. Don't worry if you feel like you are starting a new job - your life basically changed 100% over your maternity leave. You shouldn't expect to retain silly job tasks when you have the cutest baby in the world to take care of! :)
7. Have faith that your decision is the right decision. You will have up's and down's about going back to work. Believe in yourself. You know instinctively what is best for you and your family. If working is the best thing right now, you have the power within you to make it work. When you feel that working isn't the correct choice anymore, you'll figure out a way to stay home.
If I could just share one thing I've learned from this journey, it would this. Mama has the power to do anything and everything necessary to keep her family alive and protected and fed. Mama can do everything needed to provide and when mama falters, all her supporters are there to scoop up the heap on the floor and put her back on her feet on the pathway to success.
Here are a few things I've learned along the way:
1. Wash your bottles more often - in fact, maybe you need to buy more bottles
2. Make a video of your baby being fussy - watch it while you are pumping. It'll help your milk let down faster :)
3. Having a nanny is amazing, a must-have! She'll take such good care of your little one. Take care of her and she'll make your work life a breeze. She'll text you pictures of your sweet one. She'll bring your baby to work to deliver things that you forgot.
4. Steam bags are an amazing help. They can sterilize your pump supplies easily after you rinse out the milk. It makes pumping at work so much easier!
5. Communicate with your department and supervisor. I know, it's weird to have such a shift in your work identity, but you are a working mom now and pumping is a normal part of life. It probably won't weird the coworkers out as much as you think. Also, let them all know the struggles you are having. They will be amazingly supportive and helpful...and understanding.
6. Don't have high expectations of what you can accomplish. Go in slow and build up from there. Be easy on yourself. Don't worry if you feel like you are starting a new job - your life basically changed 100% over your maternity leave. You shouldn't expect to retain silly job tasks when you have the cutest baby in the world to take care of! :)
7. Have faith that your decision is the right decision. You will have up's and down's about going back to work. Believe in yourself. You know instinctively what is best for you and your family. If working is the best thing right now, you have the power within you to make it work. When you feel that working isn't the correct choice anymore, you'll figure out a way to stay home.
If I could just share one thing I've learned from this journey, it would this. Mama has the power to do anything and everything necessary to keep her family alive and protected and fed. Mama can do everything needed to provide and when mama falters, all her supporters are there to scoop up the heap on the floor and put her back on her feet on the pathway to success.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Pump and Dump
Ugh! Those three words have been my enemy for the past two days. They make me sad, make me angry, make me tired and, most of all, make me miss my boy!
Without going into too many details, my body has been at war for the past 7 weeks with an infection that just won't take the hint and leave town! It's been pretty miserable to say the least, but I think this final round of meds just might do the trick! I tried a mild round of meds because I didn't want to stop breast feeding Evan and I didn't want him to be affected (upset stomach or worse) by the meds I was taking. The mild meds worked for a few days and then the infection returned. I tried the mild meds again thinking that if I did a few things differently, it might work. I know....silly me!
The third time the infection came on, I haul Evan and myself to the doctor determined to rid myself of this thing as fast as possible, no matter what. Well, I was not emotionally prepared for what the doctor suggested. Strong meds, three different types of medication, and no breast feeding for 2 of the 7 days.
What?? No breastfeeding for 2 full days!?!? Not cool! I asked the doctor what I was supposed to do. The answer, straight from his mouth, "Pump and Dump." YUCK!! He gave me very specific instructions on how to take these pills and cause as minimal upset stomach for my baby as possible. He calls it a slammer mix. I take 5 antibiotic pills at one time and then 3 days later the same thing. I have to pump and dump for a day and I can nurse the 2 days in between. Rinse and repeat ;) On top of that, I have to take an anti-fungal prophylactically (yes, I know big words) to prevent a ductal yeast infection because I'm a nursing mom.
So, I started the meds on Friday morning. First and foremost, I fed my sweet baby boy. I almost cried, but thought, "It's only one day." I took 6 pills (the nastiest tasting things in the universe). For the rest of the day, I pumped and dumped. Again, I almost cried! A total of 13 ounces of milk down the drain. Very sad day for mama. Then last night as I put my son to sleep, I prayed over his belly. Lord, please protect my son's belly from all ill effects of the medicine I am taking. Help his system to be strong and fight off the meds that may flow from my body to his during this 7 day period. Help his not suffer because of mama's infection. Be with him if he does have a belly ache. Help him to sleep well if he does not feel healthy. And, Lord, please oh please make this round of meds work and mama not have an infection anymore. Amen.
I went to sleep last night hopeful and ready to feed my son again. This morning could not come soon enough. Evan slept so well last night. From 9 - 4 and then from 4:30 to 8! I slept well too and was anxious to feed him at his 4 o'clock wake up time.
He was a little grumpy when he awoke at 8 and I just prayed again that he would not suffer from my medication. He quickly ate his breakfast and was his normal smiley self. He's eaten five times so far today and has slept more than normal. We've had a pretty busy Saturday, so I'm not sure if his sleeping is due to information overload or an unhappy belly. Either way, I'm happy that he is sleeping and not showing many signs of ill effect...except one very strong reaction...it's smelly and green and not his normal b.m. But at least it doesn't seem to be hurting him. Praise the Lord!
5 more days of this and it can't come soon enough! I'll pump and dump again on Monday (that'll be easier because I work half the day and would pump anyway). Please pray for us if you think about it. For Evan's tiny body to not be affected by the meds I have to take. For me to be healed of this awful infection. For all of us to be healthy and back to normal as soon as possible!
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| Who wouldn't miss this adorable boy? |
Without going into too many details, my body has been at war for the past 7 weeks with an infection that just won't take the hint and leave town! It's been pretty miserable to say the least, but I think this final round of meds just might do the trick! I tried a mild round of meds because I didn't want to stop breast feeding Evan and I didn't want him to be affected (upset stomach or worse) by the meds I was taking. The mild meds worked for a few days and then the infection returned. I tried the mild meds again thinking that if I did a few things differently, it might work. I know....silly me!
The third time the infection came on, I haul Evan and myself to the doctor determined to rid myself of this thing as fast as possible, no matter what. Well, I was not emotionally prepared for what the doctor suggested. Strong meds, three different types of medication, and no breast feeding for 2 of the 7 days.
What?? No breastfeeding for 2 full days!?!? Not cool! I asked the doctor what I was supposed to do. The answer, straight from his mouth, "Pump and Dump." YUCK!! He gave me very specific instructions on how to take these pills and cause as minimal upset stomach for my baby as possible. He calls it a slammer mix. I take 5 antibiotic pills at one time and then 3 days later the same thing. I have to pump and dump for a day and I can nurse the 2 days in between. Rinse and repeat ;) On top of that, I have to take an anti-fungal prophylactically (yes, I know big words) to prevent a ductal yeast infection because I'm a nursing mom.
So, I started the meds on Friday morning. First and foremost, I fed my sweet baby boy. I almost cried, but thought, "It's only one day." I took 6 pills (the nastiest tasting things in the universe). For the rest of the day, I pumped and dumped. Again, I almost cried! A total of 13 ounces of milk down the drain. Very sad day for mama. Then last night as I put my son to sleep, I prayed over his belly. Lord, please protect my son's belly from all ill effects of the medicine I am taking. Help his system to be strong and fight off the meds that may flow from my body to his during this 7 day period. Help his not suffer because of mama's infection. Be with him if he does have a belly ache. Help him to sleep well if he does not feel healthy. And, Lord, please oh please make this round of meds work and mama not have an infection anymore. Amen.
I went to sleep last night hopeful and ready to feed my son again. This morning could not come soon enough. Evan slept so well last night. From 9 - 4 and then from 4:30 to 8! I slept well too and was anxious to feed him at his 4 o'clock wake up time.
He was a little grumpy when he awoke at 8 and I just prayed again that he would not suffer from my medication. He quickly ate his breakfast and was his normal smiley self. He's eaten five times so far today and has slept more than normal. We've had a pretty busy Saturday, so I'm not sure if his sleeping is due to information overload or an unhappy belly. Either way, I'm happy that he is sleeping and not showing many signs of ill effect...except one very strong reaction...it's smelly and green and not his normal b.m. But at least it doesn't seem to be hurting him. Praise the Lord!
5 more days of this and it can't come soon enough! I'll pump and dump again on Monday (that'll be easier because I work half the day and would pump anyway). Please pray for us if you think about it. For Evan's tiny body to not be affected by the meds I have to take. For me to be healed of this awful infection. For all of us to be healthy and back to normal as soon as possible!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Evan 3 months
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| Look at that smile! |
Evan is 3 months old today. WHAT?!?!? :)
He's becoming such a fun little boy. He loves a LOT of attention. He loves to be active. Well, let me rephrase. He loves to be kept active by those who take care of him! He loves to bounce and stand and be taken for walks in his moby. He loves to be talked to and he loves funny faces and noises. He's started to talk a lot and absolutely interacting with others. Of course, he loves his mama's voice the best. Sorry I had to say it :) He's starting to like tummy time and playing with toys, especially the ones with lights. He's loving his Auntie Janelle (who is also his nanny).
He doesn't like to be left alone. He doesn't like his immunization shots (who does?).
He's learning to be a social baby. This Saturday was Rolando's birthday party and he was held by at least 10 different people while awake and didn't seemed bothered by it at all. I love that he isn't bothered by other people. I hope this is a trait that stays with him.
Rolando is doing a fantastic job of speaking Spanish to Evan. I really hope that when Evan starts to speak (which could be later than normal because of the bilingual household) he'll have a strong foundation in both Spanish and English.
He's growing like a weed!! I'm pretty sure he's more than 24 inches now. His face looks a little thinner and that means he's gained some length. He eats all. the. time! Today, for example, after I got home I ate at 4 am, 7:30 am, 9:30 am (took a fantastic nap), 1:30 pm, 3:30 pm, 6:15 pm and 7:45 pm. He'll go to sleep now and will probably wake up around 11:30 for his midnight snack. When I put it in words like that, it doesn't seem so bad...perfectly normal for a little guy to eat 8 times a day. I guess it just seems like a lot when you're the one being needed :) And I don't mind at all.
Evan,
I love being your mama. You make it pretty easy these days. I enjoy every second I get to spend with you. Lately, there have been big chunks of time that you aren't in my arms. I was sad about this at first (and I'll always miss you) but what I'm learning is that I love seeing other people love on you too. It's okay for others to hold ya and love on ya and kiss on ya! You enjoy it too. Your smiles are addicting and so good for my soul. Your little legs kicking away at things that make you happy let me know that I'm doing a good job of entertaining you. I can tell by the look in your eye that you are making connections with things that make you happy. You know that the changing table is fun with the mobile. You know that, when mama sits down on the couch, you get to see your favorite white and black screen behind it. You are so smart!! I love the snuggle times and the active times. You are the best, cutest, most lovely baby there is.
Love,
mama
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
totally blog-worthy poo!
Evan is talented! That's enough said right there, but I'd like to elaborate. Here's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. :)
I was nursing Evan. He was done with one side. I decided I'd burp him before I switched sides. I set him (a little on the boppy) mostly on my leg and started patting away. Seconds later, my son let out a BIG poo....and it leaked. all. over!!!! It was on my dress pants (guess I'm not wearing those again this week). On the boppy (how do you get poo out of plush??). On the couch. All OVER him and his clothes. Plus, because he's a 100% mama's milk diet, you KNOW it's all runny and gooey! (TMI?)
So, I take him back to our changing area. I take his outfit off and pull his diaper down. He's become famous for not getting it all out at once and so I've been leaving the dirty one under him while he finishes his business, so to say. He loves the mobile above his changing pad, so it entertains him while I clean off my pants with wipes, stain remover and paper towels. I'm leaning over trying to clean myself and Evan decides he needs to pee. (Do you see what's coming?) Evan peed in my face...for the first time...but still. YUCK!
So I take off his diaper and put a paper towel under him, thinking he's done. Oh mama! You still have yet to learn! Of course he's not done. I lift him up to put the diaper under and out comes some more poo. Well, at least I have a paper towel to catch it.
Clean him up, lotion his back and legs (he's been getting dry spots), diaper him, put stain remover on his clothes and socks, come out to the living room...remember that it's all over the boppy....take him back to the changing pad, try to clean poo off of plush...seriously how do you do that? Come back out to the living room and sit down....feeling beat!
:)
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| Just moments before all the activity...so sweet...first time smiling while nursing :) |
I was nursing Evan. He was done with one side. I decided I'd burp him before I switched sides. I set him (a little on the boppy) mostly on my leg and started patting away. Seconds later, my son let out a BIG poo....and it leaked. all. over!!!! It was on my dress pants (guess I'm not wearing those again this week). On the boppy (how do you get poo out of plush??). On the couch. All OVER him and his clothes. Plus, because he's a 100% mama's milk diet, you KNOW it's all runny and gooey! (TMI?)
So, I take him back to our changing area. I take his outfit off and pull his diaper down. He's become famous for not getting it all out at once and so I've been leaving the dirty one under him while he finishes his business, so to say. He loves the mobile above his changing pad, so it entertains him while I clean off my pants with wipes, stain remover and paper towels. I'm leaning over trying to clean myself and Evan decides he needs to pee. (Do you see what's coming?) Evan peed in my face...for the first time...but still. YUCK!
So I take off his diaper and put a paper towel under him, thinking he's done. Oh mama! You still have yet to learn! Of course he's not done. I lift him up to put the diaper under and out comes some more poo. Well, at least I have a paper towel to catch it.
Clean him up, lotion his back and legs (he's been getting dry spots), diaper him, put stain remover on his clothes and socks, come out to the living room...remember that it's all over the boppy....take him back to the changing pad, try to clean poo off of plush...seriously how do you do that? Come back out to the living room and sit down....feeling beat!
:)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
week at a glance
In order to process through all the things I need to get done this week (and to be able to turn my brain off in order to sleep), I've decided to make a list of what needs to happen on what day. I know, you all are just DYING to see what I need to do :)
Monday:
*Go to the post office to mail Rolando's packet to Cuba.
*Get a key made for the nanny...that never happened last week...oops!
*Go to Birch (gleaning community) to shop and volunteer
Tuesday:
* i WILL walk to work!
*Research how to make great croquetas and empanadas (of course I promised my hubby those two dinner items for his birthday party....what was I thinking!!?!?)
*Research a good cheap drink...sangria?
*Put the clean clothes away
Wednesday:
* i WILL walk to work!
*Go shopping for all ingredients I need for the party food and drink
*Get decorations (crepe paper rolls and flags?)
Thursday:
*I have to attend a meeting that is outside of my normal 'in office' hours.
*anything of the above that didn't get done because, well, life DOES happen! :)
Friday:
*New mom's group
*Birch for shopping
*Jess's house for cooking and decorating
Saturday:
*Any decorating and cooking I need to do
* PARTY!!!!!!! :)
Phew! It's going to be a busy week. All of this is on top of a 40 hour work week! But I know that this weekend will be SO amazing because of all the hard work I put in.
Just because:
Okay, I seriously need my energy...off to bed!
Monday:
*Go to the post office to mail Rolando's packet to Cuba.
*Get a key made for the nanny...that never happened last week...oops!
*Go to Birch (gleaning community) to shop and volunteer
Tuesday:
* i WILL walk to work!
*Research how to make great croquetas and empanadas (of course I promised my hubby those two dinner items for his birthday party....what was I thinking!!?!?)
*Research a good cheap drink...sangria?
*Put the clean clothes away
Wednesday:
* i WILL walk to work!
*Go shopping for all ingredients I need for the party food and drink
*Get decorations (crepe paper rolls and flags?)
Thursday:
*I have to attend a meeting that is outside of my normal 'in office' hours.
*anything of the above that didn't get done because, well, life DOES happen! :)
Friday:
*New mom's group
*Birch for shopping
*Jess's house for cooking and decorating
Saturday:
*Any decorating and cooking I need to do
* PARTY!!!!!!! :)
Phew! It's going to be a busy week. All of this is on top of a 40 hour work week! But I know that this weekend will be SO amazing because of all the hard work I put in.
Just because:
Okay, I seriously need my energy...off to bed!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
my traveling knowledge
I was going through all my posts and realized that this never posted...sad! Here it is :)
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What I learned on this trip
Don't take so much stuff next time.
Don't fall down the stairs on day 4 of an 11 day vacation
TAKE PICTURES!!! Lots of them. with lots of different people. (I'm so upset at myself about that!)
Being gracious with those around you (even if you feel they don't deserve it) is a big help!
Moms are THE BEST help EVER!! Be thankful for your mom.
Showing off your baby is more important than being in the comfort and routine of your home surroundings.
Let other people hold and love your baby. It melts your heart to know that so many people adore and love your son as much as you do.
Go with the flow. Your son is going to cry and be fussy and have his good and bad moments. It's okay. In the words of your mother, "It bothers you way more than it bothers anyone else."
Learn from your son, Relax!
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What I learned on this trip
Don't take so much stuff next time.
Don't fall down the stairs on day 4 of an 11 day vacation
TAKE PICTURES!!! Lots of them. with lots of different people. (I'm so upset at myself about that!)
Being gracious with those around you (even if you feel they don't deserve it) is a big help!
Moms are THE BEST help EVER!! Be thankful for your mom.
Showing off your baby is more important than being in the comfort and routine of your home surroundings.
Let other people hold and love your baby. It melts your heart to know that so many people adore and love your son as much as you do.
Go with the flow. Your son is going to cry and be fussy and have his good and bad moments. It's okay. In the words of your mother, "It bothers you way more than it bothers anyone else."
Learn from your son, Relax!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Bonding
*Warning: you might need a tissue. I certainly did*
This post has been a long time coming. There are so many words that I wanted to put down perfectly. I'm not a fantastic writer, especially when the words are burdened by so much emotion. In the last few weeks, I've felt a tug on my heart to write about a topic that is not talked about enough. It's not a topic that people like to talk about, it has the potential to bring a lot of awkward moments to the conversation. But, today, I decided that I'm okay with awkward moments. Someone out there (whoever my audience may be) needs to hear these words. And so I write.
I didn't immediately bond with my son.
Are you surprised? I was! How could I not love this baby and feel that immediate bond with him? What a horrible mother I am going to be. How will I care for a child if everything I thought about the immediacy of that overwhelming feeling goes out the window? What does it mean to not bond with your baby immediately? Who do I talk to about this? People would ask me after my son was born: Don't you just LOVE him?" And while I knew the answer was yes, it wasn't the euphoric, strong, infatuation love that I expected. I am a person who feels emotions deeply and for me not to feel so deeply about my son..it scared me. When would the bonding occur?
This issue was always on my mind. That first week was pretty bad emotionally (obviously) but not feeling that bond made it so much harder. And then there was another topic that I thought of constantly. I'm almost afraid to say this next thing, but it's the truth so I'll say it anyway. For a long time, I felt that I didn't 'earn the right' to be a mom. I had heard a lot of stories about birth and had psyched myself up for a super intense, long, hard, painful delivery experience. I thought, "That's the journey you have to go through to become a mom." Well, I'm happy to say that I had a relatively easy, very fast delivery. Yes, it was painful, but not as painful and hard and excruciating as I thought it was going to be. The two things I remember most is that I was so tired from being up for almost 48 hours straight and that the last 10-15 minutes were really intense and a lot of pressure. And, yes, the ring of fire does exist...I found it!! :) However, compared to many stories I had heard, it was a cake walk. All that made me feel like I hadn't earned the baby laying in my arms. I know it's a bit ridiculous, but it's the truth and it was a real emotion that I felt. There I said it.
In those first two weeks of having my son home, I took care of his every need, very minimal...feed him, put him to sleep and change his diaper. He was a very sweet little new born baby. He didn't cry a lot. Nursing was very easy for both of us so that was really nice. I started to feel more connected as time went on. But then something happened... He hit 4 weeks old and started to need a lot! ;)
He wasn't a very "easy" baby. He became a very fussy baby. Evan needed to be held and fed and bounced and rocked and swaddled and bounced and shooshed and re-swaddled (man this child can squirm) and walked and....well you get the point. He needed constant attention and care and I felt like I couldn't even put him down for a second without him crying. He had terrible gas pains. He had trouble pooping (bicycle legs and leg pushes are a God-send). He didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time. Oh, it was just awful. But, while that was happening, he started distinguishing his cries. He would cry a certain way for hunger or tiredness or gas pain. It was then that I started thinking "I'm so proud of myself for learning his different cries." Someone else would have him when he'd start crying and they'd say, "I think he's hungry" and I'd know with every inch of my being that his cry meant he was tired and needed to be swaddled and held on his side with his paci in his mouth. He'd confirm that by falling to sleep within seconds and I'd feel my heart swell. I was doing it right! And, all of a sudden, a light turned on. I'm bonding with my child! This is what it feels like to be so connected to a little being that you know his every need and desire. It felt so good and so right. I'm loving on my child and bonding with him by taking care of him. He responds with appreciation by going right to sleep or happily nursing and gazing into my eyes or smiling when we do bicycle legs (he especially likes bicycle legs with his Mamsie!)
1. His smile melts my heart e-ver-y time!!
2. His cry stimulates my milk let down
3. If he's not in my arms, I miss the weight of his body against me
4. I cry every day on the way to work (luckily I only have a 3 min drive or 15 min walk)
5. He stares into my eyes while nursing and I stare right back
6. He's always on my mind
7. I can soothe him (not just by feeding him) in minutes....most of the time :)
Evan,
Although I didn't bond with you immediately, I feel very secure with our relationship now. You let me know in so many ways just how much you need me and love me. Each time I can satisfy your need, my heart swells with delight and pride. I am so happy to be your mother. There have been some hard times that only a select few have truly witnessed, but those hard times are becoming few and far between. Let me add that I loved you every bit as much when you were screaming as when you were laying happily in my arms. I am willing to put in all the effort needed to make you happy and comfortable. That's my full time job. It's not always glamorous, but it's highly rewarding! I love you with all my heart and feel closer to you every day. The way you give me good morning smiles fills my heart to overflowing. It's like you know I need those smiles to tide me over for the work day. See, you know me and I know you! We are such a team.
Te amo!
Mama
This issue was always on my mind. That first week was pretty bad emotionally (obviously) but not feeling that bond made it so much harder. And then there was another topic that I thought of constantly. I'm almost afraid to say this next thing, but it's the truth so I'll say it anyway. For a long time, I felt that I didn't 'earn the right' to be a mom. I had heard a lot of stories about birth and had psyched myself up for a super intense, long, hard, painful delivery experience. I thought, "That's the journey you have to go through to become a mom." Well, I'm happy to say that I had a relatively easy, very fast delivery. Yes, it was painful, but not as painful and hard and excruciating as I thought it was going to be. The two things I remember most is that I was so tired from being up for almost 48 hours straight and that the last 10-15 minutes were really intense and a lot of pressure. And, yes, the ring of fire does exist...I found it!! :) However, compared to many stories I had heard, it was a cake walk. All that made me feel like I hadn't earned the baby laying in my arms. I know it's a bit ridiculous, but it's the truth and it was a real emotion that I felt. There I said it.
Bonding is something that comes with time
In those first two weeks of having my son home, I took care of his every need, very minimal...feed him, put him to sleep and change his diaper. He was a very sweet little new born baby. He didn't cry a lot. Nursing was very easy for both of us so that was really nice. I started to feel more connected as time went on. But then something happened... He hit 4 weeks old and started to need a lot! ;)
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| I realize this isn't bicycle legs, but it's a good pic of Evan and Mamsie!! :) |
Something my mom told me when Evan was about 4 or 5 weeks old really hit home for me. She teaches graduate level students who, for the most part, work full time and attend school at night. One of her students has worked in the hospital for 25+ years. This student came up to my mom one night and, while talking about my son, said that 60% of women don't immediately bond with their baby and that it takes mama's up to 6 weeks to feel bonded with their child. Wow, when I heard that, I knew I was okay. I'm with the MAJORITY of mama's.
A number of ways I can tell I've bonded with my son
2. His cry stimulates my milk let down
3. If he's not in my arms, I miss the weight of his body against me
4. I cry every day on the way to work (luckily I only have a 3 min drive or 15 min walk)
5. He stares into my eyes while nursing and I stare right back
6. He's always on my mind
7. I can soothe him (not just by feeding him) in minutes....most of the time :)
Evan,
Although I didn't bond with you immediately, I feel very secure with our relationship now. You let me know in so many ways just how much you need me and love me. Each time I can satisfy your need, my heart swells with delight and pride. I am so happy to be your mother. There have been some hard times that only a select few have truly witnessed, but those hard times are becoming few and far between. Let me add that I loved you every bit as much when you were screaming as when you were laying happily in my arms. I am willing to put in all the effort needed to make you happy and comfortable. That's my full time job. It's not always glamorous, but it's highly rewarding! I love you with all my heart and feel closer to you every day. The way you give me good morning smiles fills my heart to overflowing. It's like you know I need those smiles to tide me over for the work day. See, you know me and I know you! We are such a team.
Te amo!
Mama
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Twas the week before...
...I have to go back to work... BOO!!! :(
I can't get over how motherhood has changed me. I never thought I'd be the mom that wants to stay at home. But I do. I want to be a mama who gets to stay at home and enjoy every moment of my child's life. I don't want to miss a single second. Every smile, every coo, every kick makes my heart melt. I am so in love. And why wouldn't I be? Have you seen my son? He's adorable!!
I can't get over how motherhood has changed me. I never thought I'd be the mom that wants to stay at home. But I do. I want to be a mama who gets to stay at home and enjoy every moment of my child's life. I don't want to miss a single second. Every smile, every coo, every kick makes my heart melt. I am so in love. And why wouldn't I be? Have you seen my son? He's adorable!!
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| Morning smiles are the best |
I'm not one of the lucky ones that gets to stay at home with my baby, but I am VERY blessed to have a sister that will nanny my child. My sister is amazing with kids! And of course, she loves her nephew! Evan is blessed to have such a wonderful care taker.
I am also blessed because my place of employment accepted a proposal I wrote a month before Evan was born. This proposal asked for the opportunity to work half time from home and half time from the office. That brings my time away from Evan down to 20 hours a week. Also, my work is less than 5 minutes from my house so I'm even more blessed that I don't have to cut another hour out with travel.
I'm trying really hard to focus on the positives. I know the first week is going to be hard. Right now, I can't even imagine setting an alarm and getting ready for work. I'm panicking about the alarm waking Evan up. In all actually, Evan has never slept past 6:30, so I shouldn't have to set an alarm, but what if one day..... And so it continues. Do I know how to get ready for work anymore. I haven't really done my hair in weeks, how do I want to do it for work now. Casual chic high pony with a part on the side? Curly down? Straight? HA! Who has time for that!?!?! :)
Ugh, I better remind myself again that I want to focus on the positives and leave it at that. I'm calling it a night, folks. This is just rattling my brain!
Evan,
You come with so many important decisions to make. Vaccinations? Baby sitters? When to start real foods? Etc. But the hardest decision I have had to make so far is a decision to stay with mine and daddy's original plan for me to go back to work. I have to re-decide that every day because you are just to hard to leave at home. I'm going to try to be strong though. Please know that mama loves you more than you will ever know. And the decision to work outside of the home is a tough but necessary one. I would give anything to stay with you at home, but it's just not in the plan right now. However, you are going to have an AWESOME nanny! She comes highly recommended from a friend and, by the way, she's your auntie! ;) She loves you almost as much as I do. She'll be your favorite morning time person for a while and you guys are going to have so much fun! She's the best nanny there is!
And, because I talked about one of your aunties, I need to mention another. Tee-tee wants me to tell you this all important message. "You is kind. You is smart. You is important. She loves you too and wants what is best for you. She also wants you to have a great sense of self worth!
You have so many wonderful people in your life who love you to bits! You are one lucky little boy.
I love you!
Mama
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