Twas the week before...

...I have to go back to work... BOO!!!  :(

I can't get over how motherhood has changed me.  I never thought I'd be the mom that wants to stay at home.  But I do.  I want to be a mama who gets to stay at home and enjoy every moment of my child's life.  I don't want to miss a single second.  Every smile, every coo, every kick makes my heart melt.  I am so in love.  And why wouldn't I be?  Have you seen my son?  He's adorable!!

Morning smiles are the best

 

I'm not one of the lucky ones that gets to stay at home with my baby, but I am VERY blessed to have a sister that will nanny my child.  My sister is amazing with kids!  And of course, she loves her nephew!  Evan is blessed to have such a wonderful care taker.  

I am also blessed because my place of employment accepted a proposal I wrote a month before Evan was born.  This proposal asked for the opportunity to work half time from home and half time from the office.  That brings my time away from Evan down to 20 hours a week.  Also, my work is less than 5 minutes from my house so I'm even more blessed that I don't have to cut another hour out with travel.  

I'm trying really hard to focus on the positives.  I know the first week is going to be hard.  Right now, I can't even imagine setting an alarm and getting ready for work.  I'm panicking about the alarm waking Evan up.  In all actually, Evan has never slept past 6:30, so I shouldn't have to set an alarm, but what if one day.....  And so it continues.  Do I know how to get ready for work anymore.  I haven't really done my hair in weeks, how do I want to do it for work now.  Casual chic high pony with a part on the side?  Curly down?  Straight?  HA! Who has time for that!?!?!  :)

Ugh, I better remind myself again that I want to focus on the positives and leave it at that.  I'm calling it a night, folks.  This is just rattling my brain!

Evan,

You come with so many important decisions to make.  Vaccinations?  Baby sitters?  When to start real foods?  Etc.  But the hardest decision I have had to make so far is a decision to stay with mine and daddy's original plan for me to go back to work.  I have to re-decide that every day because you are just to hard to leave at home.  I'm going to try to be strong though.  Please know that mama loves you more than you will ever know.  And the decision to work outside of the home is a tough but necessary one.  I would give anything to stay with you at home, but it's just not in the plan right now.  However, you are going to have an AWESOME nanny!  She comes highly recommended from a friend and, by the way, she's your auntie! ;)  She loves you almost as much as I do.  She'll be your favorite morning time person for a while and you guys are going to have so much fun!  She's the best nanny there is!

And, because I talked about one of your aunties, I need to mention another.  Tee-tee wants me to tell you this all important message.  "You is kind. You is smart.  You is important.  She loves you too and wants what is best for you.  She also wants you to have a great sense of self worth!

You have so many wonderful people in your life who love you to bits!  You are one lucky little boy.

I love you!

Mama