presents for your children

I love The Mommyhood Memos.  She hit the nail on the head with this blog post.  This is something
i've been thinking about a lot these days.  This year, we are giving Evan one present to play with and then we are giving him his stocking as a present (he doesn't need stocking stuffers  and I thought it would be fun to give him the stocking we'll be using for years to come) :)

Evan has already received one present from Mamsie

and will receive MANY others from relatives.

How have you handled presents for your children??

So thankful

I have so much to be thankful for. 

My mom and I have a great relationship (this hasn't always been the case...my fault!)  She and I can talk about everything and she always has great advice for me.  I really couldn't have a better mom!  Love you mom!

I am so thankful for my family.  My husband is a spice in the cabinet, he brings laughter into my house every day.  The way he plays with my son is crazy funny.  He takes care of me when I'm sick (today I woke up with 102 fever).

My job and sick time.  As I mentioned before, I woke up sick today.  I feel really blessed to have a job that, even though I just came off of 3 months maternity leave, I have sick time left over and am able to stay at home.

My sister, Janelle.  She's the best there is!  She's my son's nanny, she came over today even though I stayed home.  She took care of Evan and I slept.  Probably why I feel a bit better already.

A God that blesses us beyond what we deserve.  I have so many blessings in my life.  I have friends and family that love me.  I have a roof over my head and food in my fridge.  We may be really tight with money, but we always have a positive balance at the end of the month...maybe just by pennies, but at least it's positive.

There's just a few things that I'm thankful for.  Off to bed for this sicky. 

just. write. something.

 i have no idea why all of a sudden i'm on a writing strike.  do i have writers block?  am i just too busy?  am i prioritizing it out of my life?  I don't know.  For now...here are some pics to keep you entertained. :)

You were so tiny! 

One of my very best friends asked me to guest post on her blog.  I couldn't, in good conscience, post on her blog when I've not posted on mine in over a month.  We'll see if this starts me going again :)

what is it that mom always says?

My mom didn't say this phrase often, but it's a well known phrase:

Don't cry over spilled milk!

Have you ever thought what does it mean exactly?  There's always a moral, right?  Well, lucky us!  We have the internet...from this source:

"The idiom that there is no use crying over spilled milk means that if we make a mistake and something gets broken, it is not helpful to wail in lament, and instead we should simply clean up the mess and get on with it.
This saying comes from the days when dairy animals were milked by hand into a pail. Milk does get spilled occasionally when the pail is tipped over, and then there simply is no getting it back into the pail. Like many other times in life, crying or complaining won't help at all, and it's better not to waste the time or energy and instead just get back to the task at hand"

As I discussed in a previous post, I've had to pump and dump due to some meds I was taking.  I did this one day and started feeding Evan the next day just as the doctor ordered.  Evan was unusually fussy the day I fed him so I decided to pump and dump the rest of the time I was on the meds.  It was a sacrifice I was willing to make in order to keep my son happy (I did miss feeding him terribly, but daddy got a good number of feedings in and loved it!).  I was lucky enough to have a supply built up so that feeding him my milk was possible.  My sister/nanny was so good about pulling enough milk out during the day so that they would thaw by evening.  Evan's tummy has stayed happy and that makes mama happy.

Wednesday I allowed myself to cry (just a little) over milk...my breast milk.   On Wednesday night, I was making Evan a bottle and I accidentally knocked over the bottle with his freshly warmed milk.  5 ounces gone, wasted in seconds!  I've been pumping/dumping about 13 ounces a day and then here's 5 whole ounces of good, fattening, calorie-filled, med-free milk and I just dumped it all over the counter.  I cried and then I smiled because my very next thought was "Well, at least I aimed into the sink and not all over the kitchen floor." 

The moral of this story, if you have to clean up milk with one hand while holding a crying baby in the other, the most you can hope for is not having to get on your hands and knees to clean it.  :)

We'll make it...

Well, I've officially made it through my first 4 weeks back to work.  And guess what!  I survived and Evan survived and, most importantly, my nanny survived!  She's the most important because if she didn't survive I wouldn't be able to work and if I couldn't work, we wouldn't be able to pay the bills and without that we'd be homeless and...well...you see where this is going.  Basically, she's now the foundation of our family :)  haha!

Here are a few things I've learned along the way:

1.  Wash your bottles more often - in fact, maybe you need to buy more bottles

2.  Make a video of your baby being fussy - watch it while you are pumping.  It'll help your milk let down faster :)

3.  Having a nanny is amazing, a must-have!  She'll take such good care of your little one.  Take care of her and she'll make your work life a breeze.  She'll text you pictures of your sweet one.  She'll bring your baby to work to deliver things that you forgot.

4.  Steam bags are an amazing help.  They can sterilize your pump supplies easily after you rinse out the milk.  It makes pumping at work so much easier!

5.  Communicate with your department and supervisor.  I know, it's weird to have such a shift in your work identity, but you are a working mom now and pumping is a normal part of life.  It probably won't weird the coworkers out as much as you think.  Also, let them all know the struggles you are having.  They will be amazingly supportive and helpful...and understanding.

6.  Don't have high expectations of what you can accomplish.  Go in slow and build up from there.  Be easy on yourself.  Don't worry if you feel like you are starting a new job - your life basically changed 100% over your maternity leave.  You shouldn't expect to retain silly job tasks when you have the cutest baby in the world to take care of! :)

7.  Have faith that your decision is the right decision.  You will have up's and down's about going back to work.  Believe in yourself.  You know instinctively what is best for you and your family.  If working is the best thing right now, you have the power within you to make it work.  When you feel that working isn't the correct choice anymore, you'll figure out a way to stay home. 

If I could just share one thing I've learned from this journey, it would this.  Mama has the power to do anything and everything necessary to keep her family alive and protected and fed.  Mama can do everything needed to provide and when mama falters, all her supporters are there to scoop up the heap on the floor and put her back on her feet on the pathway to success.

Pump and Dump

Ugh! Those three words have been my enemy for the past two days.  They make me sad, make me angry, make me tired and, most of all, make me miss my boy!

Who wouldn't miss this adorable boy?

Without going into too many details, my body has been at war for the past 7 weeks with an infection that just won't take the hint and leave town!  It's been pretty miserable to say the least, but I think this final round of meds just might do the trick!  I tried a mild round of meds because I didn't want to stop breast feeding Evan and I didn't want him to be affected (upset stomach or worse) by the meds I was taking.  The mild meds worked for a few days and then the infection returned.  I tried the mild meds again thinking that if I did a few things differently, it might work.  I know....silly me!

The third time the infection came on, I haul Evan and myself to the doctor determined to rid myself of this thing as fast as possible, no matter what.  Well, I was not emotionally prepared for what the doctor suggested.  Strong meds, three different types of medication, and no breast feeding for 2 of the 7 days. 

What?? No breastfeeding for 2 full days!?!?  Not cool!  I asked the doctor what I was supposed to do.  The answer, straight from his mouth, "Pump and Dump."  YUCK!!  He gave me very specific instructions on how to take these pills and cause as minimal upset stomach for my baby as possible.  He calls it a slammer mix.  I take 5 antibiotic pills at one time and then 3 days later the same thing.  I have to pump and dump for a day and I can nurse the 2 days in between.  Rinse and repeat ;)  On top of that, I have to take an anti-fungal prophylactically (yes, I know big words) to prevent a ductal yeast infection because I'm a nursing mom.  

So, I started the meds on Friday morning.  First and foremost, I fed my sweet baby boy.  I almost cried, but thought, "It's only one day." I took 6 pills (the nastiest tasting things in the universe).  For the rest of the day, I pumped and dumped.  Again, I almost cried!  A total of 13 ounces of milk down the drain.  Very sad day for mama.  Then last night as I put my son to sleep, I prayed over his belly.  Lord, please protect my son's belly from all ill effects of the medicine I am taking.  Help his system to be strong and fight off the meds that may flow from my body to his during this 7 day period.  Help his not suffer because of mama's infection.  Be with him if he does have a belly ache.  Help him to sleep well if he does not feel healthy.  And, Lord, please oh please make this round of meds work and mama not have an infection anymore.  Amen.

I went to sleep last night hopeful and ready to feed my son again.  This morning could not come soon enough.  Evan slept so well last night.  From 9 - 4 and then from 4:30 to 8!  I slept well too and was anxious to feed him at his 4 o'clock wake up time. 

He was a little grumpy when he awoke at 8 and I just prayed again that he would not suffer from my medication.  He quickly ate his breakfast and was his normal smiley self.  He's eaten five times so far today and has slept more than normal.  We've had a pretty busy Saturday, so I'm not sure if his sleeping is due to information overload or an unhappy belly.  Either way, I'm happy that he is sleeping and not showing many signs of ill effect...except one very strong reaction...it's smelly and green and not his normal b.m.  But at least it doesn't seem to be hurting him.  Praise the Lord!

5 more days of this and it can't come soon enough!  I'll pump and dump again on Monday (that'll be easier because I work half the day and would pump anyway).  Please pray for us if you think about it.  For Evan's tiny body to not be affected by the meds I have to take.  For me to be healed of this awful infection.  For all of us to be healthy and back to normal as soon as possible! 

Evan 3 months

Look at that smile!

I know that all of these photos are very similar but I couldn't help adding all of them.  Evan is so very expressive and I love capturing every single moment!


Evan is 3 months old today.  WHAT?!?!? :)

He's becoming such a fun little boy.  He loves a LOT of attention.  He loves to be active.  Well, let me rephrase.  He loves to be kept active by those who take care of him!  He loves to bounce and stand and be taken for walks in his moby.  He loves to be talked to and he loves funny faces and noises.  He's started to talk a lot and absolutely interacting with others.  Of course, he loves his mama's voice the best.  Sorry I had to say it :)  He's starting to like tummy time and playing with toys, especially the ones with lights.  He's loving his Auntie Janelle (who is also his nanny).

He doesn't like to be left alone.  He doesn't like his immunization shots (who does?). 

He's learning to be a social baby.  This Saturday was Rolando's birthday party and he was held by at least 10 different people while awake and didn't seemed bothered by it at all.  I love that he isn't bothered by other people.  I hope this is a trait that stays with him. 

Rolando is doing a fantastic job of speaking Spanish to Evan.  I really hope that when Evan starts to speak (which could be later than normal because of the bilingual household) he'll have a strong foundation in both Spanish and English.

He's growing like a weed!! I'm pretty sure he's more than 24 inches now.  His face looks a little thinner and that means he's gained some length.  He eats all. the. time!  Today, for example, after I got home I ate at 4 am, 7:30 am, 9:30 am (took a fantastic nap), 1:30 pm, 3:30 pm, 6:15 pm and 7:45 pm.  He'll go to sleep now and will probably wake up around 11:30 for his midnight snack.  When I put it in words like that, it doesn't seem so bad...perfectly normal for a little guy to eat 8 times a day.  I guess it just seems like a lot when you're the one being needed :)  And I don't mind at all.

Evan,

I love being your mama.  You make it pretty easy these days.  I enjoy every second I get to spend with you.  Lately, there have been big chunks of time that you aren't in my arms.  I was sad about this at first (and I'll always miss you) but what I'm learning is that I love seeing other people love on you too.  It's okay for others to hold ya and love on ya and kiss on ya!  You enjoy it too.  Your smiles are addicting and so good for my soul.  Your little legs kicking away at things that make you happy let me know that I'm doing a good job of entertaining you.  I can tell by the look in your eye that you are making connections with things that make you happy.  You know that the changing table is fun with the mobile.  You know that, when mama sits down on the couch, you get to see your favorite white and black screen behind it.  You are so smart!!  I love the snuggle times and the active times.  You are the best, cutest, most lovely baby there is.

Love,
mama

totally blog-worthy poo!

Evan is talented!  That's enough said right there, but I'd like to elaborate.  Here's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. :)

Just moments before all the activity...so sweet...first time smiling while nursing :)

I was nursing Evan.  He was done with one side.  I decided I'd burp him before I switched sides.  I set him (a little on the boppy) mostly on my leg and started patting away.  Seconds later, my son let out a BIG poo....and it leaked. all. over!!!!  It was on my dress pants (guess I'm not wearing those again this week).  On the boppy (how do you get poo out of plush??). On the couch.  All OVER him and his clothes.  Plus, because he's a 100% mama's milk diet, you KNOW it's all runny and gooey!  (TMI?)

So, I take him back to our changing area.  I take his outfit off and pull his diaper down.  He's become famous for not getting it all out at once and so I've been leaving the dirty one under him while he finishes his business, so to say.  He loves the mobile above his changing pad, so it entertains him while I clean off my pants with wipes, stain remover and paper towels.  I'm leaning over trying to clean myself and Evan decides he needs to pee.  (Do you see what's coming?)  Evan peed in my face...for the first time...but still. YUCK!

So I take off his diaper and put a paper towel under him, thinking he's done.  Oh mama!  You still have yet to learn!  Of course he's not done.  I lift him up to put the diaper under and out comes some more poo.  Well, at least I have a paper towel to catch it.

Clean him up, lotion his back and legs (he's been getting dry spots), diaper him, put stain remover on his clothes and socks, come out to the living room...remember that it's all over the boppy....take him back to the changing pad, try to clean poo off of plush...seriously how do you do that?  Come back out to the living room and sit down....feeling beat!

:)

week at a glance

In order to process through all the things I need to get done this week (and to be able to turn my brain off in order to sleep), I've decided to make a list of what needs to happen on what day.  I know, you all are just DYING to see what I need to do :)

Monday:
*Go to the post office to mail Rolando's packet to Cuba.
*Get a key made for the nanny...that never happened last week...oops!
*Go to Birch (gleaning community) to shop and volunteer

Tuesday:
* i WILL walk to work!
*Research how to make great croquetas and empanadas (of course I promised my hubby those two dinner items for his birthday party....what was I thinking!!?!?)
*Research a good cheap drink...sangria?
*Put the clean clothes away

Wednesday:
* i WILL walk to work!
*Go shopping for all ingredients I need for the party food and drink
*Get decorations (crepe paper rolls and flags?)

Thursday:
*I have to attend a meeting that is outside of my normal 'in office' hours.
*anything of the above that didn't get done because, well, life DOES happen! :)

Friday:
*New mom's group
*Birch for shopping
*Jess's house for cooking and decorating

Saturday:
*Any decorating and cooking I need to do
* PARTY!!!!!!! :)

Phew!  It's going to be a busy week.  All of this is on top of a 40 hour work week!  But I know that this weekend will be SO amazing because of all the hard work I put in. 

Just because:

Okay, I seriously need my energy...off to bed!

my traveling knowledge

I was going through all my posts and realized that this never posted...sad!  Here it is :)

---------------------------------

What I learned on this trip

Don't take so much stuff next time.

Don't fall down the stairs on day 4 of an 11 day vacation

TAKE PICTURES!!! Lots of them.  with lots of different people.  (I'm so upset at myself about that!)

Being gracious with those around you (even if you feel they don't deserve it) is a big help!

Moms are THE BEST help EVER!!  Be thankful for your mom.

Showing off your baby is more important than being in the comfort and routine of your home surroundings.

Let other people hold and love your baby.  It melts your heart to know that so many people adore and love your son as much as you do.

Go with the flow.  Your son is going to cry and be fussy and have his good and bad moments.  It's okay.  In the words of your mother, "It bothers you way more than it bothers anyone else."

Learn from your son, Relax!

Bonding

*Warning: you might need a tissue.  I certainly did*

This post has been a long time coming.  There are so many words that I wanted to put down perfectly.  I'm not a fantastic writer, especially when the words are burdened by so much emotion.  In the last few weeks, I've felt a tug on my heart to write about a topic that is not talked about enough.  It's not a topic that people like to talk about, it has the potential to bring a lot of awkward moments to the conversation.  But, today, I decided that I'm okay with awkward moments.  Someone out there (whoever my audience may be) needs to hear these words.  And so I write.

I didn't immediately bond with my son.

Are you surprised?  I was!  How could I not love this baby and feel that immediate bond with him?  What a horrible mother I am going to be.  How will I care for a child if everything I thought about the immediacy of that overwhelming feeling goes out the window?  What does it mean to not bond with your baby immediately?  Who do I talk to about this?  People would ask me after my son was born: Don't you just LOVE him?" And while I knew the answer was yes, it wasn't the euphoric, strong, infatuation love that I expected.  I am a person who feels emotions deeply and for me not to feel so deeply about my son..it scared me.  When would the bonding occur? 

This issue was always on my mind.  That first week was pretty bad emotionally (obviously) but not feeling that bond made it so much harder.  And then there was another topic that I thought of constantly.  I'm almost afraid to say this next thing, but it's the truth so I'll say it anyway.  For a long time, I felt that I didn't 'earn the right' to be a mom.  I had heard a lot of stories about birth and had psyched myself up for a super intense, long, hard, painful delivery experience.  I thought, "That's the journey you have to go through to become a mom."  Well, I'm happy to say that I had a relatively easy, very fast delivery.  Yes, it was painful, but not as painful and hard and excruciating as I thought it was going to be.  The two things I remember most is that I was so tired from being up for almost 48 hours straight and that the last 10-15 minutes were really intense and a lot of pressure. And, yes, the ring of fire does exist...I found it!! :)  However, compared to many stories I had heard, it was a cake walk.  All that made me feel like I hadn't earned the baby laying in my arms.  I know it's a bit ridiculous, but it's the truth and it was a real emotion that I felt.  There I said it.

Bonding is something that comes with time

In those first two weeks of having my son home, I took care of his every need, very minimal...feed him, put him to sleep and change his diaper.  He was a very sweet little new born baby.   He didn't cry a lot.  Nursing was very easy for both of us so that was really nice.  I started to feel more connected as time went on.  But then something happened... He hit 4 weeks old and started to need a lot! ;)  

 He wasn't a very "easy" baby.  He became a very fussy baby.  Evan needed to be held and fed and bounced and rocked and swaddled and bounced and shooshed and re-swaddled (man this child can squirm) and walked and....well you get the point.  He needed constant attention and care and I felt like I couldn't even put him down for a second without him crying.  He had terrible gas pains.  He had trouble pooping (bicycle legs and leg pushes are a God-send).  He didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time.  Oh, it was just awful.  But, while that was happening, he started distinguishing his cries.  He would cry a certain way for hunger or tiredness or gas pain.  It was then that I started thinking "I'm so proud of myself for learning his different cries."  Someone else would have him when he'd start crying and they'd say, "I think he's hungry" and I'd know with every inch of my being that his cry meant he was tired and needed to be swaddled and held on his side with his paci in his mouth.  He'd confirm that by falling to sleep within seconds and I'd feel my heart swell.  I was doing it right!  And, all of a sudden, a light turned on.  I'm bonding with my child!  This is what it feels like to be so connected to a little being that you know his every need and desire.  It felt so good and so right.  I'm loving on my child and bonding with him by taking care of him.  He responds with appreciation by going right to sleep or happily nursing and gazing into my eyes or smiling when we do bicycle legs (he especially likes bicycle legs with his Mamsie!)

I realize this isn't bicycle legs, but it's a good pic of Evan and Mamsie!! :)

Something my mom told me when Evan was about 4 or 5 weeks old really hit home for me.  She teaches graduate level students who, for the most part, work full time and attend school at night.  One of her students has worked in the hospital for 25+ years.  This student came up to my mom one night and, while talking about my son, said that 60% of women don't immediately bond with their baby and that it takes mama's up to 6 weeks to feel bonded with their child.  Wow, when I heard that, I knew I was okay.  I'm with the MAJORITY of mama's. 

A number of ways I can tell I've bonded with my son

1.  His smile melts my heart e-ver-y time!!
2.  His cry stimulates my milk let down
3.  If he's not in my arms, I miss the weight of his body against me
4.  I cry every day on the way to work (luckily I only have a 3 min drive or 15 min walk)
5.  He stares into my eyes while nursing and I stare right back
6.  He's always on my mind 
7.  I can soothe him (not just by feeding him) in minutes....most of the time :) 

Evan,

Although I didn't bond with you immediately, I feel very secure with our relationship now.   You let me know in so many ways just how much you need me and love me.  Each time I can satisfy your need, my heart swells with delight and pride.  I am so happy to be your mother.  There have been some hard times that only a select few have truly witnessed, but those hard times are becoming few and far between.  Let me add that I loved you every bit as much when you were screaming as when you were laying happily in my arms.  I am willing to put in all the effort needed to make you happy and comfortable.  That's my full time job.  It's not always glamorous, but it's highly rewarding!  I love you with all my heart and feel closer to you every day.  The way you give me good morning smiles fills my heart to overflowing.  It's like you know I need those smiles to tide me over for the work day.  See, you know me and I know you!  We are such a team.

Te amo!
Mama 

Twas the week before...

...I have to go back to work... BOO!!!  :(

I can't get over how motherhood has changed me.  I never thought I'd be the mom that wants to stay at home.  But I do.  I want to be a mama who gets to stay at home and enjoy every moment of my child's life.  I don't want to miss a single second.  Every smile, every coo, every kick makes my heart melt.  I am so in love.  And why wouldn't I be?  Have you seen my son?  He's adorable!!

Morning smiles are the best

 

I'm not one of the lucky ones that gets to stay at home with my baby, but I am VERY blessed to have a sister that will nanny my child.  My sister is amazing with kids!  And of course, she loves her nephew!  Evan is blessed to have such a wonderful care taker.  

I am also blessed because my place of employment accepted a proposal I wrote a month before Evan was born.  This proposal asked for the opportunity to work half time from home and half time from the office.  That brings my time away from Evan down to 20 hours a week.  Also, my work is less than 5 minutes from my house so I'm even more blessed that I don't have to cut another hour out with travel.  

I'm trying really hard to focus on the positives.  I know the first week is going to be hard.  Right now, I can't even imagine setting an alarm and getting ready for work.  I'm panicking about the alarm waking Evan up.  In all actually, Evan has never slept past 6:30, so I shouldn't have to set an alarm, but what if one day.....  And so it continues.  Do I know how to get ready for work anymore.  I haven't really done my hair in weeks, how do I want to do it for work now.  Casual chic high pony with a part on the side?  Curly down?  Straight?  HA! Who has time for that!?!?!  :)

Ugh, I better remind myself again that I want to focus on the positives and leave it at that.  I'm calling it a night, folks.  This is just rattling my brain!

Evan,

You come with so many important decisions to make.  Vaccinations?  Baby sitters?  When to start real foods?  Etc.  But the hardest decision I have had to make so far is a decision to stay with mine and daddy's original plan for me to go back to work.  I have to re-decide that every day because you are just to hard to leave at home.  I'm going to try to be strong though.  Please know that mama loves you more than you will ever know.  And the decision to work outside of the home is a tough but necessary one.  I would give anything to stay with you at home, but it's just not in the plan right now.  However, you are going to have an AWESOME nanny!  She comes highly recommended from a friend and, by the way, she's your auntie! ;)  She loves you almost as much as I do.  She'll be your favorite morning time person for a while and you guys are going to have so much fun!  She's the best nanny there is!

And, because I talked about one of your aunties, I need to mention another.  Tee-tee wants me to tell you this all important message.  "You is kind. You is smart.  You is important.  She loves you too and wants what is best for you.  She also wants you to have a great sense of self worth!

You have so many wonderful people in your life who love you to bits!  You are one lucky little boy.

I love you!

Mama

My birth story (part 2)

I left off on Saturday afternoon (with only about 4 hours of sleep in a 38 hour period) at home, saddened by the news that I wasn't progressing.  

Here's the finale (again, discontinue reading if you aren't comfortable with TMI issues): 


I made both my sisters go for long walks with me all afternoon.  I wanted so desperately to start labor again.  I was willing to do anything.  I even went so far as taking a dose of castor oil.  Mixed with orange juice...not so bad (gag reflex and all).  I can't remember exactly when I started feeling contractions again, but by 8:30, my sister was timing them and telling me my progress every 30 to 40 minutes.  I was encouraged every time I heard the timing because they were getting longer, stronger and closer together!! :) 


I had my sister call my friend to invite her over during my laboring at home.  I was so thankful when she and her husband showed up.  My friend sat with me and my sister in my bedroom and her husband sat with my husband and my other sister in the living room (later I found out that they were praying for me the whole time; what an amazing group of friends I have!).  The only thing that felt good to me was lying on my right side during every contraction and moaning/humming through each one.  My wonderful sister made a playlist of soothing songs and I would focus on the music through each contraction.  It helped distract me and strangely kept me focused on the task at hand.  By 10:30, I was having pretty intense contractions about every 4 minutes and decided I wanted to sit in the tub with relaxing bubble bath scents to help me through the contractions.  It felt so nice.  I laid in the tub for about an hour and a half and slipped in and out of sleep while my sister rubbed my arm and diligently kept time of the contractions.  I was so tired (remember I'd only slept 4 hours in what was now a 48 hour time period).  I think I actually slept through some contractions even though they were becoming so intense.  At one point, I awoke to a contraction and muttered "Such a rude awakening!" :)  Janelle just kept draining some water and refilling it with hot water and adding more bubbles.  


At midnight, Janelle tried to convince me that it was time to go to the hospital.  My contractions were lasting about 45 to 60 seconds and were coming about ever 3 1/2 minutes.  I remembered the nurse telling me every 3 minutes.  I was going to do my homework completely!!  I told Janelle I wanted 30 more minutes at home and got out of the tub to lay down on my bed again.  We have a queen size bed and I was laying at the farthest right side possible.  I remember my friend had brought frozen strawberries and all of a sudden those sounded so good.  I sucked on those for the next 15 minutes and finally made up my mind that it was time to go to the hospital.  Janelle (or was it Jessica, I can't remember) went out of the bedroom to tell everyone to start packing up.  All of a sudden my contractions got extremely intense and I felt this balloon come out of me.  I screamed "Something's happening!"  I seriously thought it was the head coming out.  Within a second the balloon exploded (literally) and water gushed out of me all the way across my bed and onto the floor.  What I thought was the head was my bag of water breaking.  Now, it's ON!!  Within another second I say "My water just broke! LET'S GO!"  I changed my clothes really quickly; I was SOAKED!  My sister was soaked too, but she was such a sport, she didn't mind.  (oh, it must have been Jessica, because Janelle was with me in the bed...anyway, moving on).  I get out to the car (after another contraction comes and goes), Janelle drives us to the hospital.  I walk into the E.R. and the nurse takes one look at me and says, "Oh my! Maternity center, get a wheel chair, lets go!" I can't imagine what I must have looked like to get that response! :)  I get up to my delivery room at 12:40.  The nurse tells me to pee in a cup.  I think to myself "She has GOT to be kidding!"  But I do it anyway, the nurse knows best, right?  They get me in a gown and check me.  Fully dilated and station 2.  The baby's head is crowning!!  She jokes with me about something, but right then the biggest and strongest contraction hits.  I grab Janelle's hand and say something like "This hurts, I can't do it.  I don't like it.  I have to push!"  Janelle (the WONDERFUL coach that she is) calms me down and the contraction passes.  (Later on, Janelle told me that one of the nurses response to me saying I need to push was "So, push already!"  HAHA!  If only I had actually heard those words.).  At this point, I know the baby is going to come any second.  I've been in labor for just over 4 hours and the contractions are so strong, the urge to push so intense, I'm on the roller coaster ride of my life and am losing a little bit of control.  The doctor on call (not my regular ob-gyn) hasn't made it into the room yet.  My mom hasn't made it yet.  I'm freaking out that this is all going to happen and it's just going to be me, Janelle and Rolando.  I look at the nurse and say, "I feel so much pressure.  I need to push.  Where's my mom?"  


It's 1:05 and my mom arrives.  The doctor follows within seconds.  I'm so emotional and scared.  I hear the doctor tell me to open my legs, grab my knees and bare down.  I hear him say that but in the same second, when the contraction slams into my gut, I squeeze my legs, stop breathing and clench up...everything you're taught NOT to do in labor class.  I think my body was saying, "um...this is happening way too quickly!"  The contraction fades and I give the doctor this panicked look.  He looks right back at me and very calmly says, "Okay, on the next contraction, lets try something different.  I want you to grab your knees and pull them toward you.  Chin to chest and bare down."  His calming voice reaches some inner part of me and I do exactly as he says.  The sensation of being split in two down the middle is so intense, but I press on.  Ring of fire.  This hurts!  I look at my mom with fear in my eyes.  She looks back with an encouraging look.  I know I can do this!  The next contraction slams into me and I bare down just like the doctor tells me.  Everyone is encouraging me.  The nurses, my mom, my sister holding my hand, my husband stroking my hair.  Everyone believes in me.  I push through the ring of fire and after what feels like an eternity, I feel the head push through and i know it's a matter of seconds before I get to see my son.  The rest of the body slips through and I hear the doctor say "It's wrapped around 3 times."  It takes me a few seconds to understand what he's talking about.  Thankfully, by the time I figure out what he just said, I hear the first beautiful cry of my son!  Yes, the cord was wrapped around Evan's neck 3 times but, by the grace of God, he's healthy, crying, and they are laying him on my chest. Evan was born at 1:11 a.m.


I'm so exhausted.  I lay my head back and close my eyes.  My mom has to say to me "Charissa, open your eyes and look at your son."  My son is on my chest.  It's amazing.  He's all gooey and beautiful and tiny and perfect.  "He's my son.  He's my son.  He's my son."  I keep saying this as if I'm trying to convince the world.  I can't believe he's here.  He's here and he's mine!  My mom asks us to share the name finally and I turn to Rolando.  Rolando says "Evan William."  His name is perfect.  He's my Evan.

My little Snow White dwarf :)

Evan - God is gracious
William - resolute protector

Labor took less than 4.5 hours.  I had to push two times and Evan was in my arms.  The following hours fly by.  He's weighed and measured.  5 lbs 13 oz.  19 1/4 inches long.  His head cir. is 12.75 inches.  He's swaddled and back in my arms.  I'm nursing my son for the first time and it feels so perfect.  He's a tiny little guy.  He's a bit jaundiced, but nothing to be too concerned about.  He's absolutely perfect!  I feel whole.  This is who I am.  I'm a mama.  I am exactly what God created me to be. 

Giving birth and becoming a mama has totally changed me. It has made me realize just how important life is and forced me to make some much needed changes in my life.  It has grown me into a better woman, a better wife, a better sister, a more 'whole' human.  God is so good and I can't believe the blessings that he has poured over my life.  I have the most wonderful husband and the most beautiful son.  I am so blessed.

2 months old

My beautiful baby boy is 2 months old today!

He is growing up so quickly.  He surprises me daily with his new tricks.

He's learned that the changing table can be fun with his mobile

He's learned to appreciate the outdoors

On his 2 month birthday, he did this for the first time!! 

My little boy is growing so quickly...did I say that yet?  :)  These 2 months have been such a blur, a happy blur, a challenging blur, and a growing experience for all of us.  My husband and I have learned so much about each other through raising our son and Evan has taught us many things while learning new things for himself.  He's taught me patience, that the world may not actually revolve around me (haha).  He's taught me to think outside the box (what could possibly be making him scream like that? all the options!).  He's taught me to truly and deeply enjoy every single moment that passes, to take to heart each smile and happy moment that comes my way and to leave behind the moments of trials.  

He's learned to smile, to laugh, to kick his legs, to turn his head, to follow someone across the room.  He's learned to enjoy his bouncy seat (thank God! mama needs a shower where you aren't crying the whole time!)  He's learned that it's okay to not be in someone's arms.  He's learned to coo and squeal.

He still loves to be swaddled.  He loves to sleep on his tummy on mama's chest.  He loves his daddy time, going for walks and dancing while daddy sings in Spanish.

He hates his car seat (never heard him scream so loud!  and he gets that super panic, angry look too.)

Evan,

You are the sweetest little boy ever.  I love to see your smiles and hear you talk.  Your laughs melt my heart.  You are developing right on schedule, a fact that makes me feel so proud!  You don't even know this but you are boosting my confidence every day.  I sustain you and keep you alive.  You reward me with all the growing you are doing and showing me all the fun stuff you can do.  Some times I just can't take my eyes off of you.  I know I should put you down for a nap but, instead, I hold you in my arms a little while longer and smell the top of your head.  You'll think it's funny someday but today, I can't get enough.  I love you so much.  That will never change.

I'll love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living

my baby you'll be.

Love,

Your mama

My birth story (part 1)

Evan will be 2 months old tomorrow and I can't believe it!  You never understand how fast time can actually fly past you until you have a baby.  When reading all the mommy blogs I could absorb during pregnancy, I told myself I wouldn't say those words that all mamas say (I can't believe how fast you've grown), but seriously folks, it's inevitable.  Evan really is growing so fast.  In just 2 short weeks, he's become an entirely different baby.  It brings tears to my eyes just typing those words.  Wow, time really does fly by.

Speaking of flying by, my maternity leave is almost over and in a few weeks I'll be returning to work.    I had a few goals that I wanted to complete during my maternity leave. Don't worry I only had a few: Love Evan with all my heart, pump/store as much milk as possible (no quota, just do the best I can), and put into words my birth story.  One of my goals for maternity leave hasn't been met and so with this post, I check it off the list.

Giving birth is an overwhelming event.  It's overwhelming in the fact that it is beautiful, painful, empowering, and amazing.  It's a rite of passage.  It's a chance to show the world just how strong you are.  It's a chance to prove to yourself that you can conquer anything you put your mind to.  For nine months, a woman's body prepares for this journey into motherhood.  And then, after just a few short hours (comparatively) your body has accomplished it's goal.

Here's my story (discontinue reading if you get uncomfortable with TMI topics):

Evan William Jimenez was born on Sunday, June 26th.  I want to start my story on the Thursday before that.  I had my 39 week appointment with my doctor and asked if she could strip my membranes.  She was successful at doing so and I walked away from the appointment hoping that by the end of the weekend I would have my baby boy in my arms and no longer in my belly.  That afternoon, while at work, I starting having horrible back pain.  No amount of stretching, pelvic tilt exercises, Tylenol, or different sitting positions helped.  I was walking around the office more than I was sitting in my office chair doing work.  It was so bad that I finally went home early and laid down in my bed to rest.  I finally was able to sleep around 10:30 that night and I woke up Friday morning around 7:30.  It was glorious...until I tried to sit up in bed and was blinded with the same back pain, same spot, more intense.

I called my doctor as soon as the office opened.  I told her about my situation and she asked a lot of questions (any contractions? no, any bleeding? no, drinking enough water? yes, etc).  After answering all her questions, she advised me to go to the hospital and check myself in.  She wanted to have me monitored in case contractions where happening and I couldn't feel them.  I checked in around 10 am. and was monitored for about 2 hours.  They gave me more pain medicine and alternated ice/hot on my back.  I had one contraction after 2 hours, when the nurse came to discharge me.  She told me that my son had moved down enough to where he was probably sitting on my sciatic nerve.  My options were pretty limited.  I could go to a chiropractor and see if an adjustment would help.  Walking wouldn't help, it would probably just bring more pain.  She basically said, go home, alternate ice and heat, relax and pray your baby comes soon.  great!

I went home, in pain, not knowing what the next few days would bring.  My mind was going 100 mph.  Am I going to have to deal with this pain for another 3 weeks possibly?  I really wanted to work every day possible until the baby came; how was I going to endure?  Now I know why women take leave before the baby comes.  I can't do this!  I don't want to do this.  So this is the pain of pregnancy (yes it was pretty much for first real pain from being pregnant).  I hoped and prayed that this was the onset of labor and that I would have my son in my arms soon!  I called my sister and told her to come over, bring some movies and bring some spicy foods and green grapes (the grapes sent my aunt into labor years and years ago, so I decided to try those too).  Both of my sisters came down, we enjoyed our food and before we started watching the movies, I tuckered out and went to bed (around 11:30).

I was awakened at 12:30 am Saturday by cramping and gas pains, went to the restroom and laid back down to go to sleep.  Then the pains came again about 5 minutes later.  After about 30 minutes of this pattern it donned on me...this might actually be labor, but I didn't want to rush things so I grabbed my exercise ball and, while playing sudoku and bejewled on my phone, rolled back and forth on the ball.  I was trying not to pay attention to the time, but by 3:30 am, the contractions were happening every 3-4 minutes and, though they weren't as painful as I thought they would/should be, were becoming more intense.  I finally woke Rolando up and told him that I thought we should go to the hospital.  My sisters were sleeping in the living room, so I woke them up too and off we went.  I was elated.  It was time and soon enough I would be gazing in my son's eyes and falling head over heals in love!

While Rolando drove us to the hospital, Janelle called mom and told her it was time.  I was taken up to the room and hooked up to the monitors.  I saw the contractions coming and going and was feeling every emotion on the spectrum.

Nervous...will I be able to do this?  what is it really going to be like?
Anxious...the nurse checked me and I was only 2 cm dilated and 50-60% effaced, not a huge change from my 39 week appointment.  She advised me to use the hot tub and told me that if contractions continued it was probably real labor, but I could see in her eyes that she had her doubts.
Elated...the contractions continued while in the hot tub.  My mind was made up, this was it and I was going to meet my son.
Frustrated...the nurse came in and checked me again.  No progress, in fact, she said I was more like 1 cm dilated.  WHAT?!?!?  is that possible?  you can go backward?  NO WAY!
Angry/upset...after 3 hours of napping at the hospital (with the help of ambien and morphine) the nurses decide to send me home.  There would be no baby this afternoon.

I was so sad, upset and just plain frustrated.  My heart was broken.  I wanted to cry a river.  I was told to rest, relax, walk if possible, and when contractions started again, to wait until they were 3 minutes apart, lasting at least a minute, and painful/intense.  I was given homework.  I can do that!  Focus on the homework and wait.

Fortunately I didn't have to wait too long!

To Be Continued...

Constipation Remedies 101

Here's everything you need to know about solving the horrible bout of your child's constipation:

1.  Wake up every hour on the hour during the night and walk with your child (can you say sleep deprivation).

2.  Try to figure out if your child is hungry or just in pain.  (note: you can usually tell the difference between the two cries, but not this time...totally throwing off your mama instincts and confidence)

3.  Pray for your child.  

4. Walk and bounce and shush and sing for hours today.

5. Change your child's diaper many times hoping that a clean diaper will spur on the feeling of needing to pee or poop (because every. other. time. you change your child's diaper it spurs on the feeling of needing to pee or poop!!).

6.  Walk to your office and back (1.5 miles total) hoping that the cinched action of the wrap will help squeeze it out (you are definitely getting your exercise today).

7.  Strip yourself and your child naked and take a shower hoping that the warm water and nakedness will help move it out.

8.  Let your child sleep on his stomach for his nap, hoping that the pressure on his stomach will help it move on the way out (and then check on him every minute to make sure he hasn't fallen victim to SIDS {Gosh there are so many things to worry and fret about when you are a mom}).

9.  Listen to your child scream a TOTALLY different scream then you've ever heard. 

10.  Cry with your child.  It might help. 

11. Call a friend and talk to them about their child's experience with constipation.  Let their words comfort you and listen when they tell you they are praying for you and your child.

12.  Change your child's diaper one more time and hold up his legs a little higher than normal.  Watch as a sight normally unseen (and should probably remain unseen) unfolds before your eyes.  More poop than you can ever imagine will come running out of your sweet child's behind.

You will laugh.  You will cry.  You will shout for joy.  Must most importantly...

You will cheer on your son as he does an amazing job and relieving himself all over your shirt. 

I love my son!

Traveling with a 7 week old

I'm nervous about traveling, but feeling assured that everything will be okay.  I'm sure everyone is right that it's easier to fly with a 7 week old instead of a 1 year old, but it's still scary.  Especially when I hate flying myself.  Now I have to be concerned about another living being!  Yikes!  Don't worry though, I know I can do it.

Because I'm a list person, I'm going to make a list of what I'm planning on bringing.  Suggestions and additions are much appreciated!

Lots of clothes
Lots of blankets
Lots of burp clothes
binki and back up binki (one that he doesn't like as well, but it'll do in emergency!)
wipes/diapers
car seat
diaper bag
moby wrap
breast pump
steam bags for sanitizing pump materials
socks
white/black flash cards...I really want him to love them :)

I'm not bringing a travel bed since most of the time he'll be sleeping with me in bed or in someone's arms (I <3 loving on my son!!).  Anything I'm forgetting?  If it's something obvious, go easy on this mama.  I'm new at this and very sensitive! :)

D. B. P.

Dear Breast Pump,

It's time to be brutally honest.  I have such a love-hate relationship with you.  It's not that I truly hate you, but I definitely don't 100% love you.  I know that I need you and I know that you are good for my future needs.  I just don't feel very connected to you.  You aren't very communicative with me as of late.  I feel like you suck the life out of me and don't give me anything in return!  Also, I feel like you are a little bit fake with me.  You don't make me feel the same way that my other breast relationship does.  Oh and this is probably a good time to let you know that I'm cheating on you...a lot!  Please don't be upset.  It's better for both of us that I have this other relationship.

I might neglect you one day, but I promise I won't let you go longer than 48 hours without giving you my attention.  I hope this is good enough for you, because it's as good as I can give.  There are just a lot of demands on me right now.  But don't be worried, I promise to keep our relationship going. 

Sincerely,
kissapoo

I'm back

HI! :)

I took a little more than a months break, but now I'm back.  I am not going to guarantee a daily entry; I don't think I did the daily entries before, so why would I start now.  However, I am going to try for at least two posts* a week. 

Let's see what has happened in the last month...  :)

Evan William Jimenez

I have a son! :)  Evan arrived at 1:11 am on June 26, 2011.  He weighed 5 lbs 13 oz and was 19 1/4  inches long.  He was a tiny little guy to everyone's surprise.  I had been measuring right on target, but my doctor thinks I was carrying a lot of extra fluid which tricked us all.  I'll be writing my birth story and editing it for a while.  You can be on the lookout for it sometime next month. 

Evan is one month old.  I can't believe this whole month has come and gone.  My maternity leave is only 10 weeks and I'm already thinking it's not going to be enough time!  At the same time, I've been looking for things to do to keep my busy.  I'm not a good stay at home person.  I've found a couple of outlets and I think it's a good balance of making sure Evan gets good quality sleep and making sure mama gets good quality social time!

Rolando and I are doing well at transitioning to parenthood.  It suits us well! :)  Rolando is a GEM when it comes to loving on his son.  He takes Evan for a walk most mornings so that mama can get some extra sleep (I love that part of my sleep time!)  He dances and sings around the house with Evan which is the sweetest sight ever. :)  I'm so thankful for him.  It's funny how many people said that they fell more in love with their husband after seeing him with their child.  I believed them, but it didn't seem really possible.  How can you love more?  Oh my goodness, now I know what they are talking about.  To see your husband loving on your son (loving your son is for another post entirely) is the most amazing feeling ever!

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful journey ahead of me.  My son is beautiful.  My husband is amazing.  And I survived the most difficult event of my life.

Life is good!


*Posts may include, but are not limited to, pictures of Evan, articles I want to read but don't have the time, favorite websites or blogs, my rantings, my sleep deprived emotions wrapped up in a 30 second entry because...Oops! the baby's crying :/, etc!!  haha

I'm addicted...

I've realized I'm addicted to blogs. 

I'm not addicted to blogging, to writing my own blogs.

I love reading and learning from other women of this world.

I love the insight and wisdom that women of this world document via internet.

I'm totally okay with not wanting to write all the time.

I'm totally okay with not having a lot to write about. 

Soon, I'll have PLENTY to write about :)

Pregnancy Survey - 37 weeks

How far along are you? 37 weeks...only 19 days till my due date (will I make it that long?)

How big is Baby? about 6 2/3 pounds and about 18-19 inches long.

Weight Gain? all for the baby!!

Gender? Still a Boy (having weird dreams of delivering a girl though)

Maternity Clothes? Skirts, dresses and leggings are still a God-send!

Stretch Marks? 3 new stretch marks showed up over night this past weekend!  That's ok, though...I'll consider them victory marks. :)

Sleep? Pretty choppy...not gonna lie.  I'll sleep about 2 hours max before waking up and having to turn over or go to the bathroom. 

Symptoms? Restlessness - nesting, but not a lot of energy.  Having the desire to have a clean house but really just wanting to lie down and do nothing.  Anxious for Sweet Pea's arrival.  Still pretty uncomfortable.  Still very forgetful. 

Movement? I'm lucky to have quite the mover on me! All. The. Time!  He likes to stretch which is getting uncomfortable for mommy.

Food Cravings? peanut butter and jelly still is the best thing on earth!  Also, El Tapatio is making a fortune off of me! :)

Labor Signs? I've been having more frequent Braxton-Hicks contractions.  It seems every time I stand up I feel one.  I keep hoping that today will be the day!

Belly Button in or out? 100% innie! It hasn't changed even a little bit.

What I miss? Being able to sleep on my stomach. Not going to the bathroom every half hour. Being able to see my toes.  Exercising like I want to, not having to modify everything.

What I am looking forward to? maternity leave where it's just me and baby and daddy and not a thing to do except just be! Learning how I cope with labor.

Best moment of the week? My family went on a mini vacation to Astoria and I climbed all the way to the top of the Astoria Column.  I didn't think I would be able to do it, but I did!  YAY!  It was well worth the 164 spiral stairs (up and down!!)

10 Day Challenge - Day 2

1. Looking at Her Face - Tyrone Wells

(sung by a dear friend at my DH and I wedding)

2. Suavemente - Elvis Crespo

(this song ALWAYS gets my husband dancing!)



Hospital Bag

Oh.My.Goodness!!!!! 

I'm a little overwhelmed with the amount of stuff recommended to me by all of my wonderful friends and faithful blog followers!  Thank you all so much for your suggestions.  If I were to actually pack everything that you guys recommend, I'd have to bring my biggest suitcase.  I never thought I would end up packing more for a two-day one-night stay than I did for my week long trip to London! :)  haha  But that is what might end of happening.

Here's the list that I have in my suitcase ready to go so far:

• toiletries
• shirts, shorts, pj's, undies and nursing sports bra for me
• baby outfit, socks, stocking hat for baby!
• blanket Tessa made for bringing baby home (hopefully it's not 100 degrees!)
• rice sock and heating pad
• massaging tool
• baby names book (just in case)
• hair bands
• iPod charger
• flip flops

Things I need to add:

• clothes for Rolando
• thick socks (no slippers)
• snacks for hubby and me :)
• apparently I need stool softner (big fat bummer! hahaha)
• baby book calendar thingy (if I find one that I like in time)
• breast pump (so I can ask questions about it and become familiar with it while their is someone to help me!)

Things I will need to remember to grab as we are heading out (and trust me, I'll have a sticky note on the mirror and the back of the front door reminding Rolando and me):

• Camera
• cell phone and charger
• batteries for camera (need to purchase)
• make up and make up remover
• Popsicles...I'm so excited to be able to bring them.  The hospital has a freezer for me to use and everything.
• Laptop and charger
• boppy :)
• diaper bag (already has some things in it, but mostly empty so I can SHOVE free stuff in it! :)

And you know what?  If I forget anything, I live 5 minutes from the hospital and after the baby is born, Rolando can run home and grab it...or better yet, we can just survive without it until we come home.  Really the most important things will be a the hospital: Rolando, me and Sweet Pea!

The Mile Long To-Do List

At our last birth preparation class, the teacher asked, "What is something that would have to be done right away if your baby was born tomorrow?"  Oh my goodness did that get my head spinning.  My immediate thought was, "Well I sure wish I had practiced relaxation techniques and breathing more." But besides that, what needs to be done?  What better way to keep on track and be able to add and delete things than to put it on a blog, right?  So, with no further delay, here's the list of stuff that I'd like to get done before baby comes...and some things that I've already done, but wanted to make it known :)  Really, if not everything gets done, I'm totally fine with that too!  I'll keep it categorized by 'must complete' and 'would like to complete' for sanity's sake!

Must Complete:
Install car seat (May 28th at a center that is offering free assistance) - the car seat is IN the jeep just not properly secured.
Receive a chest of drawers from co-worker and put all clothes away
Go through all of our stuff and get it ready for a garage sale (garage sale is May 21st so this needs to happen soon!)
Move co-sleeper into bedroom, prepare bed for baby, rearrange funiture in bedroom to accomodate
Buy a baby book (I've been keeping track of things in a book that my doctor gave me but it's not fancy or fun in any way and I'd like to at least attempt a baby book.)
Pack our hospital bags (also happening May 21st so that we know for sure it's all ready!)

• rice sock
• playlist for iPod needs to be created
• boppy
• slippers
• Scentsy candle and warmer (I think the newborn nursery smell will be most relaxing)
• Toothpaste/toothbrush and deodarant
• breast pump (to be able to ask questions about it)
• anything else I need??

Would like to complete:
Wash all clothes
Put stroller together and practice opening and closing
Start reading a book about the first year of life
Get connected to a new mom's group
Take Janelle to a child birth prep class

--Any advice for preparation for the big day?  Should I expect less?  Should I expect anything? What did you pack into your hospital bag?

the exercise dilemma :)

I've been having a hard time at the gym on Mondays and Wednesdays.  Those are the days that I normally go to my yoga-lates class and try as hard as possible to be gracefully bendy in all the ways that my pregnant belly refuses to do.  It's gotten harder and harder, but I've struggled through it and really, it seems that I've been doing okay and I feel the benefit from it.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I attend swim aerobic classes and truly enjoy those classes.  During the class, I feel light and free.  After class, my body has a different, very pressure free feel to it.  I do believe I'm going to keep attending those classes until I deliver.  But that always brings in the burning question: What if my water breaks while I'm in the pool?  Will I know it?

Now that I'm in my 9th month of pregnancy, I'm having thoughts that maybe I shouldn't be doing things that could pull muscles (especially in my abs....can you imagine trying to push a baby out with pulled muscles in your abs!?!?!)  I'm thinking about cutting yoga-lates out of my routine because I just don't want to run the risk.  And, now that the weather is getting nicer (ish) and it's staying lighter, longer, I think it will be a good thing to go on walks (at lease 30 minutes long).  I'm also thinking that I should bring my exercise ball home from the office and use that as much as possible during the evening when I'm watching TV and trying to relax.  Leaning on that will help promote Sweet Pea's head to be in the correct position.

All of these things have been on my mind as my body prepares for the most strenuous task it's ever conquered...and it WILL be conquered! :)  I've been focusing on keeping positive about the end task and reminding myself that God made me to do this.  But above that, I've been reminding myself that I can do so many things to help the process along and strengthen myself for this task.  I need to keep focused on that fact and remind myself daily that the harder I work now, the easier (hopefully) it will be when the day comes that I will finally get to hold my son.

--What kinds of things did you do during pregnancy to help your body prepare for labor?

mother quotes :)

" Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women." Sheri Dew

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been.  ~Robert Brault

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. ~Ambrose Bierce

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

The mother loves her child most divinely, not when she surrounds him with comfort and anticipates his wants, but when she resolutely holds him to the highest standards and is content with nothing less than his best.

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's." -- Diana, Princess of Wales

If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent." -- Bette Davis

Mothers reflect God's loving presence on earth. --William R. Webb



All quotes found on one of the following sites:
http://www.quotegarden.com/mothers.html
http://thinkexist.com/quotations/motherhood/
http://womenshistory.about.com/od/motherhood/a/mother_quotes.htm

Pregnancy Survey - Week 32

 

 

How far along are you? 32 weeks.  54 days left!

How big is Baby? 3.75 pounds and about 16.7 inches long.

Weight Gain? well...could be better....could be worse

 Gender? Still a Boy

Maternity Clothes? Skirts and leggings are my best friends right now!!  I don't know what I'd do without comfy maternity clothes. It's been such a blessing to have a friend of mine let me borrow so many wonderful clothes!

Stretch Marks? Not any new ones! I was blessed with stretch marks before I was 14. :(

Sleep? I've started having hip pain when sleeping.  You try sleeping only on your sides and hopefully mostly on your left side.  It hurts when you wake up!!

Symptoms? I'm starting to crave anything unhealthy.  

I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable.

I have a bit of a harder time breathing.

Forgetfulness!!!

Movement? I'm lucky to have quite the mover on me! I've been feeling him roll around more often.

He likes to stretch which is getting uncomfortable for mommy.

 

Food Cravings? peanut butter and jelly in a whole wheat tortilla.

Big ol' burritos from Portland's finest food carts.

Labor Signs? Still feeling some braxton hicks contractions.  Nothing bad. 

I keep monitoring them just to make sure.

Belly Button in or out? 100% innie! It hasn't changed even a little bit.

What I miss? Being able to sleep on my stomach.  Not going to the bathroom every half hour.  Having energy, I feel so tired!

What I am looking forward to? maternity leave where it's just me and baby and daddy and not a thing to do except just be!  Learning how I cope with labor.

Best moment of the week? I traveled to Indiana for my sisters graduation.  It was hard being away from Rolando that long, but it was totally worth it.  Rolando met me inside the airport with a sunflower and a great big kiss and hug.  Then he leaned down and kissed my belly :)